It’s amazing how women, many of whom have issues with image,
confidence and a general negative self-esteem are so patronizing toward each
other – and we’re the first to do it to each other!!
After trawling through shops looking for clothes, I felt
myself feeling very small, second guessing my worth to be able to walk into a
shop and questioning my choice in outfit, hair, my skin color, shoes, handbag,
even my the way I had my make-up (or non – existent make up!).
Somewhere along the way, we had grown into our own worst
enemy. We are our number one judges and critics of everything about ourselves.
The horrifying thing is that it is not just one or two of our magnificent
gender, but almost all of us! Sometimes I don’t feel that I can make eye
contact with other women as they are so intimidating; staring at every inch of
us, making us feel as if there is something wrong about us. Most of the time it
has become so habitual that we don’t realize we are doing it.
As I found myself walking into a shop filled with awesome
clothes, clothes that suit my fashion vibe, clothes that I should feel very
comfortable and excited to scan over – I found myself becoming like a shy
school girl as the red lipped, baleyaged blonde shop attendant with a tight
pencil skirt and high heels “Hi, how’s it going-ed” me and proceeded to ‘accidentally’
check out my image. It was as if I couldn’t see her, but oh – how I sensed the
judgmental vibes! I slunk around the shop quickly and stepped outside again
where a weight felt as if it were lifted off my shoulders.
Shop number two – a little classier and more expensive, but
hey, a little browsing never hurt anyone! Again – I could feel the eyes of each
FEMALE shop attendant and fake laugh to go with the ringing of “Hi, can I help
you?”. Strike 2.
Walking to the next shop and I even found myself (without
realising!) checking out the shapes, sizes, clothing and walk of the women who
walk past. Taking notice now – I didn’t even look twice and a passing male.
They could be shirtless and be wearing ugg boots for all I knew – unless we
applied this to a Channing Tatum look-a-like of course!!
Anyway – I left the shopping center 2 hours later with
somewhat of a bruised ego and ready to have a little ‘R & R’ time as I jump
in my car singing at the top of my lungs to the funky beats playing on the
radio.
Strike three – listening to the female presenter on the
radio talking about the ‘arrogance’ and ‘over-confidence’ of a celebrity who
has just made it to the top ten of the music charts in the US. Oh boy – we need
to change something. We need to take the critic hat off; it’s as if we have
just finished filming a season of ‘My Kitchen Rules’ or ‘Next top model’ that
we have to criticize and compare every little thing each other does.
Watching The Bachelor last night; even my much laid back
boyfriend couldn’t believe how insulting, negative, bitchy, analytic and again criticising
the women who were fighting for Sam’s love were. They even spoke about ‘the
girl code’ of not ‘cutting anyone else’s grass’, but three seconds later – they
did and said that realistically if any of the other girls were in their
situation, they would do the same! Ah well – who needs to look after each
other?!
It is horrible to
watch, one could never blame anyone for the amount of tears and emotions that are
shed on that TV show, it certainly is every women for herself!
Girls – listen up, we need to stop doing this. We are always
on the lookout for things that make us feel great about ourselves; a healthy
diet, summer skies, a kick-ass boot camp or Pilates workout, a scrumptious and
cleansing green smoothie or a soul recharging retreat. But – how often do we
stop to think about the things that contribute to our feeling a little worse
for wear?
I question myself and my place in the world all too often.
Yes – careers, family, a hectic social schedule and too many things on our ‘to-do’
lists play a part – but wouldn’t things be much easier if we each existed in a
life that we feel safe, loved and content? Wouldn’t life be more fun and
satisfying if we had the confidence and courage to challenge ourselves
regularly? Which part of judging ourselves will send us on an epic journey of
sisterhood and support?
I know that from my own experience with mental health issues
in the past, and many sessions with a Counselor working through Cognitive
Behavioral therapy – she revealed a really sad thing that I had been holding
onto with my subconscious which effected every thought I had. “I am not good
enough”.
Let’s just think ourselves through, pull up our gorgeous
lady-filled skirts and take care of the thoughts and feelings growing within us
that can affect our outlook on life and mental health for the rest of our
lives.
XXX
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