After slurping down a chocolate milk drink, I head out the door feeling hopeful that I was going to run a nice, easy, long run in preparation for next week's half marathon. The sun was shining, the air was warm and fresh after last night's rain, and my Garmin GPS watch was ready and waiting! It was 'Sunday-run-day' after all - so how could the morning not start with a bang?
I set off down the road, feeling a little lethargic. This is usual, so I pushed on determined to run around 17km on a track I knew very well.
By 7km, I was feeling very leg heavy. I felt so zapped of energy, as if I had run a hard race the day before - my long run preparation of a walk and Pilates doesn't usually effect my energy like this.
I trudged on and just dropped the pace a little bit, as I bounced over the rocks, veered tightly away from the edge of the cliff-ed track and darted between the trees along the river-side track.
My breathe at this stage was heavy. My head started to zone in and out of feeling fully aware of my surroundings. The usual goofy, child-like grin on my face when I run was struggling to find it's feet. I was struggling, that's for sure!
I tried a quick toilet and drink break, then continued on.....like a slow snail who was super early for a day's work so it took it's time at every chance - I might add.
By the 10km mark, my mind had given up. For the last 3 or 4km I had been 'revving myself up', trying the think of it as a normal feeling, and hoping for that 'feel good' moment to hit. I started to walk.
This run 1km, walk 2 minutes rhythm continued until I got home - finally!!! I opened the wire door to two freshly awoken faces of my Fiancee and 5 year old Step son who look confused when I virtually crawled inside, heaving like a heavy smoker wailing "There is no way I am going to be able to race in the next week's half marathon!!".
I was able to get the 13.5km distance, but that was the most painful, frustrating and flattening run I had run (or run - walk if I spoke in honest terms) in a very long time.
As a runner - who has completed long runs before and knows that they can do the distance (on the same trail as has been used many times before), it certainly is disheartening.
The first few walking steps gave me a sense of relief that I didn't have to work my mind so hard in an effort to keep me walking one foot in front of the other.
After a minute or so, and definitely by the time I had to stop and walk a second and third time, my thoughts started to wonder and I could feel a lump starting to build in my throat.
"OOwww....I can't even do this! How can I expect to complete the event later in the year i was hoping to do - that's 28km and over constant undulating hills".
The negative thoughts started to branch out further - "I'm going to get home late and won't have time to write a blog, study and start writing my Teaching job application before I have to go out for a family lunch." "I really want to - but how can I expect to make my mark as a full time wellness coach if I can't even do this run!!".
Towards the end - the thoughts started to become quite obviously irrational and exhilarated.
My point is - confidence in any shape or form can develop from something as simple as doing something you enjoy and feel 'just the right amount' challenged by. Running is such a great metaphor for life, and something that I have used for many years to help boost my confidence and clear my head.
Going outside for a run gives me the chance to do something in my own time, on my own terms - and to push myself to go slightly harder, faster and longer if I choose. yes - i have a goal at the of it by entering myself in several races throughout the year to assist in motivation. But by completing this one, simple thing throughout the week and having the knowledge that I have completed the goal/challenge I have set for myself boosts both my confidence and self efficacy.
Many studies have shown that a person who has a good level of self confidence and efficacy (the belief that they can achieve the task they are giving themselves), is more likely to push themselves to try new challenges, has lower levels of anxiety and this stems off into many other aspects of their life.
My go-to 'challenge' or task, is running. By running 4 times a week, I know that I have reached a goal in maintaining a good fitness level (between Pilates and occasional cross training). The feeling of being able to complete a run that you feel great in, or being able to reach a new distance sets my inner light on fire for the next few days (sometimes even a week!).
Feeling confident gives me a sense of 'happy', a sense that if I keep working hard on the areas I want to build and work on in the life - I'm a good chance of reaching that particular goal. I feel as if I want to try and see if I can reach a new challenge. My outlook and presence at work is lifted because I feel a sense of accomplishment from the weekend or early morning run.
So - how can you find your 'confidence booster'?
Think about the things you enjoy doing. What gives you energy? What gives you a smile and sense of butterflies or a buzz when you do it?
Start by writing down a list and brainstorm. Make sure that this 'thing' or 'behavior' is something that you know you will be able to do - nothing too inspirational or difficult as you will be less likely to want to complete it and if you do not achieve the 'thing' you hoped, it can decrease our confidence.
Now, choose ONE thing from that list that you are going to do this week, at LEAST twice a week (more if you can) and make it a priority.
Remember that like my 'fantastic' run today - there will be some days where the buzz you get isn't as high as others. This is completely NORMAL.
After two weeks of this - reflect on what else changed or happened to you since you started doing this 'thing'? You might of applied for a job you never even contemplated before now. You might of started a new hobby because you feel like it could be something you could actually achieve, seeing as you met your 'self-set' challenge. You might have been eating healthier, something you told yourself you couldn't do because you always failed your 'diets' in the past.
Just to let you know - I am getting 'back on my running horse' on Monday and still have my challenge laid out ahead of me. The more you practice, the stronger you will get and the less likely it is that you will 'give up' from things you find difficult in the future.
Good luck!!
No comments:
Post a Comment