It's amazing how many questions run through your mind when making a major change to your life as well having a little bit of extra time to 'over-think', 'over-analyse' and 'over-critique' everything that you are.
Having time to yourself, alone with your thoughts can be incredibly beneficial. Making sure that you do take time away from everything and everyone else is an important part of learning who you are, what you want, what your interest and passions are, which direction you want to go in your life and what you NEED.
The only trick is to not look at things too deeply - otherwise you will almost definitely fall into the trap of 'crazy brain' looking way too deeply into the reason behind everything that could, will and has happened to you. Although reflection is a necessary part in being able to move forward to bigger and better things in life, too much of it can be detrimental and lead you into negativity.
For most of us, over the years and experiences that make up our life we have learnt to instinctively 'protect' ourselves against anything that could harm us.
This harm may be mentally, physically, emotionally, socially....whatever it may be - the human being has developed such powerful protection mechanisms that we often let negativity take over before positivity even has time to assemble itself.
This doesn't mean you always think the worst of every situation, but it is very easy to let our inner fears take hold of our days and prevent us from trusting ourselves to rise to the challenges of our desires.
This negativity, when left to seep out for too long can turn into what our mind conceives as pain. Although this pain can come in any shape or form (virtually anything that doesn't give us instant gratification e.g laughing or love), our mind perceives it as a threat and our thoughts spiral downward.
I am a poster model for this detrimental over-thinking. I admit it - although I am an introvert by every stretch of the definition, I do love having time to myself to reflect, consolidate and think about things, but if left for too long I know how easily it can stem into a whole bucket (or Santa sack big enough to bring joyful presents to every child around the world!!) of negative thoughts which usually get internalised.......which usually then turn into negativity and anxiety around things that were never even linked to what the initial thought or issue was!!
I found myself this morning after driving 30minutes to my Sunday Pilates and strength training class, then returning home after it - I started to think about things (and I guess the fact that I was running on one soy latte for the first 3 hours of the morning may have added to the 'negativity thinking'!!).
The last few days I have been on such a high horse having finally figured out what I want to do with my life - hallelujah - and finally being able to let my thoughts simply be acknowledged without having to analyse each one (until you learn to do this, it is hard to fathom how free your soul feels!).
However when one or two thoughts held on to my mind for too long....they started to develop into other things. For years, my self confidence is the first thing that dissolves at a rate faster than a bath bomb in hot water when I over-think things.
When I plan goal related to my passions, my initial excitement is HUGE! The trick is, I usually have to dive into the goal straight away before it gets time to think about things too deeply and my mind responds by second guessing itself that I can follow through with it.
My internalisation responded by telling my mind that I couldn't do it, that I didn't have the skills, I wasn't 'loud or extraverted' enough, I didn't have enough experience, other people didn't have the same confidence in my goals and questioned me.....these continued to grow into 'I'm not good enough', I don't look as pretty as the other girls in the industry I want to move into, I can't speak as clearly and confidently or as bubbly and infectious as the others in my industry - all when asked for evidence could not stand their ground but still ......the thoughts were strong enough to over-take my passions and leave me feeling like a small child that has been sent to their bedroom for being naughty.
My point is - to beat this, there is one very simple solution.
Elkhart Tolle speaks about a profound moment her had on his 29th birthday years ago. After battling years of depression and anxiety, he found himself in a state of complete helplessness and said to himself "I can't live with myself anymore". Something happened in that brief moment, and he had an epiphany - it was like he had two people inside his head. "I and myself"......he realised that he was living in his body with something else very powerful that had taken over himself - his mind. From that day on, Eckhart Tolle played with the idea that his mind perceived thoughts as threats. His depression and anxiety (and over-thinking) had built up so strongly that perceived everything as pain. His mind instantly turned thoughts into 'pain'.
The change that he learnt to make was to recognise that thoughts are simply an emotion as a reaction to a situation. They don't necessarily mean pain, but once you simply acknowledge that emotion - don't try and micro-manage it or fight it - just let it be.
Living in the moment and simply experiencing human emotion as it is, is the most effective and beneficial technique I have ever learnt in stopping my over-thinking.
We as a fast paced society are so used to being stressed, trying to organise, plan, analyse, reflect, and respond to the things that are around us, that we have all forgotten how to simply let things happen.
Life goes on no matter how your mind wants to respond to it, and let me tell you, it is so much less fatiguing to let the tight chest and tense forehead go as you keep this in mind. You don't have to have an answer or reaction to everything. Just let it be, acknowledge it, don't try and change it or fight it - just let it be, accept it and move on to the next moment.
A word you may all be familiar with is mindfulness - what an amazing concept!!
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