Why you NEED to go on a 'Self love expedition' and HOW to do it...

Sometimes we get a niggling feeling as if we are uncomfortable with something. Not uncomfortable in the sense that we are challenging ourselves to do the things we always wished we had, but uncomfortable in the theme that we are going through our days without a sense of fulfilment; feeling as if we are simply going through the motions but not getting anything back for our souls.

This can sometimes occur through years of trying to please others, or make sure that those around us are happy and living a life they enjoy (which is incredibly common in the female population when family comes into play!), rather than putting ourselves first or at least an important priority in our everyday habits or activities.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a place that we used to love to bits, but in recent times are finding it no longer serves it’s purpose in what we want or need in life.

Sometimes we simply do things because we feel that we SHOULD, it’s an expectation from society or our friendship circle that we follow suit in their own interests or desires (another very common reason particularly in the career area of many).

What’s wrong with this mindset of ‘just going through the motions’, but feeling ‘uncomfortable’, unfulfilled or uninspired? The problem is that you are not putting YOURSELF into your life. Chances are that if you continue down this path you will end up regretting decisions or choices you made years ago, you will resent those around you who you love but feel that they are a reason for you not living your dreams and you will end up feeling depressed, stuck and in many ways ‘lost’ in the life you are living – without purpose, passion or happiness.

So – how can we get ourselves out of this uncomfortable feeling to make sure that we leave this life satisfied, content and as if we have lived out every moment of our desires without regret or resentment?

1)    Put yourself into your life.

What’s important to you?

What do you value most?

List 5 people who you admire. What qualities do they have that show you they love themselves?

What 3 things can you do today to SHOW-UP more for yourself?

2)    Befriend yourself.

Forgive yourself for any past mistakes you have made; maybe you blame yourself for something that happened in the past, maybe you have no belief in your ability to do the things you really want to or maybe you have ‘self sabotaged’ by deliberately doing things that prevent you from getting to where you desire.

3)    Go on a ‘self love expedition’.

Shannon Kaiser speaks of using the following words to help guide you through this: Experience, persistence & letting go of what no longer serves you.

Experience – What are the self sacrificing habits that are holding you back? What have doing these habits cost you in the past? What are 3 self love habits you can start or continue?

Persistence – Practice doing these self love habits and going through this process regularly. Like anything, the more your practise it the easier and more automatic it will become. After a while, rather than listening to what your head tells you to do you can be a lot more receptive of the direction your heart and inner self is trying to guide you in.

Let go of what no longer serves you – What habits are you holding onto that you no longer enjoy? What habits are you participating in that no longer serves its purpose like it may have once done?

4)    Have a go at playing a game of TRUTH or DARE with yourself!

Truth –

What things did you LOVE doing as a child?

When were you HAPPIEST as a child?

What did you want to be when you ‘grew up’?

What 5 qualities did you express most as a child?

Dare –

What are 5 things that you have always wanted to do but were too scared? (Ha – tough one to commit yourself to I know, but give it a try!!).

You can repeat this process as often as you like, or even make it a ‘new year’ goal setting and ‘direction finding’ process to keep you on track to continue down your own path of ‘self’. Each time you start to feel uncomfortable in the situation you are currently in, it’s an incredibly ideal time to restart this ‘self love expedition’ again.

Again in the words of the very thought provoking Shannon Kaiser – “I trust my heart, it knows what my head is yet to figure out”.