Raising your standards - how to check into yours and how to lift yourself into your BEST self!!

After listening to a solid 2 hours of ‘tips from high flyers’ around the world – one section from U.S born Tony Robbins (who has created somewhat of a million dollar empire in teaching people around the world how to face their fears in seminars, coaching and running events).

His first ‘tip’ was to ‘RAISE YOUR STANDARDS’. 

I guess this really resonated with me as it’s something I focus on with my clients – changing all of your ‘SHOULDs’ into ‘MUSTs’.

Each of us lives in a world which is run by our own set of standards and limitations for ourselves. This may have been something that originally developed within us years ago, perhaps form something that happened to us which we then decided we would ‘learn’ from or limit ourselves to doing to prevent it from happening again.

The thing about ‘shoulds’ is that is places an instant limitation in our mind of ourselves and what we are capable of.

Let’s face it – we all do it. ‘Oh, I should be cleaning the house’, or ‘I shouldn’t really eat that piece of chocolate because I’m on a diet’. Should-ing implies that we don’t really have a choice. It instantly puts pressure on us to make the ‘right’ choice or take the action we think we should, rather than do the thing that we know we MUDT or that we choose to.

Let me put this to you – if you had in your mindset that you must go for a run or you must go out and get that client or job you really want, it’s completely different to I should go out and get that client……but maybe I’m not good enough, smart enough, have enough time to really chase it or the resources to actually do it. See – straight away that SHOULD is so much less powerful in getting us to do the things we need to or want to do.

Take a second to look at your own limitations you are placing on yourself. Reflect on how they have started to impact your life, have they prevented you from really having a go at something you wanted?

When did you start to put these limitations on yourself? Did something happen in the past to make you change your thoughts to think this way?

Most of us have a ‘set point’. For some, this set point is set at a point which is comfortable, safe and at a place where being hurt or failing is highly unlikely. These people are less likely to challenge themselves, or even be who they really are. The limiting thoughts and mindset usually takes hold so strongly that they are unable to really grasp WHO they are, what they want and who their true personality is. Perhaps they have placed these limits on themselves for so long that they don’t even realise they have these limits – it’s become part of their beliefs.

For others of us – this ‘set point’ is higher. These people might have a belief that they need a certain amount of money (which is often higher than what they really need to live), or that they are at a fitness level close to an athlete (where being active and training hard are all part of their daily routine – compared to someone with a lower set point who thinks ‘yeah – maybe I should drag my butt out of bed today to exercise’…..completely different mindsets, ‘set-point’s and limitations.

Sometimes finding this set point or breaking out of the grip of those limiting beliefs needs to come from something really unexpected, spontaneous and something where you don’t have the time to plan and ‘prevent’ yourself from changing (kind of like ‘tricking yourself’ into doing something….it can be done even if you’re not a magician!). Try going out and doing something really spontaneous. Something ‘off-the-cuff’ or spur of the moment that is totally different from your usual routine. It might be something as simple as taking a drive out to the beach one weekend – just because. It could be putting yourself forward to take a job interview or ask for a promotion at work. Just something to break the routine and USUAL day to day routine that you keep…..and if you’re like me, everyday is routine…..be daring!!

When you push yourself out of your routine, out of your comfort zone or try something you have never done before – for a brief moment you tap into your inner ‘joy’. This joy is what really makes you who you are. It will often give you a huge energy rush because in that moment, you felt like you. You weren’t worried about what you should be doing, where you are meant to be, whether this was the right thing to do – you just DID IT!

It’s a really important practise to take up and I would highly recommend doing it on a regular (weekly, fortnightly or at minimum monthly) basis to remind yourself that you CAN be beyond what you imagined or limited yourself to.

The things you do consistently define you – or at least to your mind. If you are someone who regularly exercises, your mind sees you as ‘fit’ and you tend to continue doing this each day, usually to a higher intensity than someone who is active once or twice a week. If you only ever take on jobs that earn a minimal wage or a role that is always ‘in the back-seat’ as opposed to a managing type position – that is your definition of yourself (and your set point). If you are a smoker, for many people quitting smoking (whenever that may be) is always made harder because you have learnt to define yourself by your smoking – ‘it’s what you do’. If you always stay quiet in the back of group conversations, you have defined this to yourself and others that you are quiet and have less to offer the group……it certainly doesn’t mean it is true, but you have defined this about you for so long that you start to believe it.

If you took someone who really wants to break out in their industry and be known by others around them, pushing yourself to do the tings that someone in this position would do – you start to do them naturally until they become ‘your defined self’. Along the way, you have morphed into that $8000 a month earner and daily do the things needed tog et you there – speaking at events, recording yourself, advertising your new product to everyone you meet.

You act confident – you then define yourself as confident.

The body and mind are so connected that if both are acting in the way that you wish to be moving towards – you will eventually do this as part of your natural ‘self’. If you can DO and THINK the things you want to do – it will become who you are.

An interesting example of this thought process taking steed – You are at a circus with your family. The circus has elephants who are so strong, so powerful and could easily break out of the small harness they have been put in by the circus performers. This elephant however – chooses to stay here. For so long, it has been brought up to think that for as long as it is in the harness, it is to do it’s job and stay where it has been asked. It believes it is not strong enough to simply leave and go on about it’s day roaming around the surrounding paddocks.

This elephant identified itself as having to act a certain way or do certain things. It placed limitations on what it can or can’t do – and it believed it.

So – take a few moments to think about this deeply.

What standards have you set for yourself?

What limiting beliefs have you told yourself that may have created your mindset for you today? Have these beliefs prevented you from following through with certain areas of your life? Love, career, health & fitness?

One thing that you can always control is your own actions. You can never control others around you, but you CAN change your standards, imitations, beliefs and ‘self definition’ to get to the life or dream you want.