For the
past few months, I’ve felt busy.
Busy in the
sense that I feel out of control. I set my alarm for 5am just so I can get
everything I feel that I need to do in the day done.
I wake up
during the night thinking of the list of things that I have to do over the
coming week, or something that I said I would do yesterday but forgot.
I feel that
I spend my precious time with family or friends feeling ‘on edge’ thinking
about the things I should be doing instead or the time I am away from my
computer NOT doing work or things that I feel are giving my time a sense of
‘stature or achievement’.
I feel busy
when I’m meditating or doing my power flow vinyasa next to the window of my
large, white (but messy) bedroom.
I feel like
I don’t have time to do the washing, unpack my bags, hang the washing out,
clean the car, do the groceries, stop for coffee, finish my work deadlines,
pick up my step son from school, go for an afternoon run, cook healthy
wholesome foods and start working on my next project (which – I am actually
hanging to do, I am too busy to be passionate!).
That was me
last year…..and if I’m honest – me when life sometimes gets on top of me, which
thankfully, isn’t anywhere near as often as it used to!
Somewhere
along the lines of the past few months, I feel as if my being has transformed.
My focus has narrowed.
My day
isn’t centred around what to do next or what I didn’t do yesterday – but rather
a feeling of what is around me now and what I would like to do in this present
moment.
My head
isn’t over-run by a crazy little witch screeching “Agh you stupid woman – you
don’t have time for this. This won’t help you be a success. You are not
achieving anything here. You should be doing……..”.
I have
clarity. I feel as if everything is happening as it should – and if those
things that I planned to be happening are not, then it either will unfold in
due course, OR I focus without anxiety or tension on the next way to turn.
I wake up
with purpose, knowing that I am LIVING my life. Not letting each day pass as if
it’s a sprint race, and feeling as if I haven’t had water or sustenance for
years – I have energy!
My
headaches, re-occuring sore throat and ‘non-present personality’ seemingly do
not even exist.
I feel as
if I have completed some sort of detox and lived on abundant amounts of fresh
vegetable juices and swam in the clearest salt waters of a spa retreat.
The key to
this change?
Being aware
of my own thoughts, my own ‘internally-created’ limitations and fears and
realising that they are nothing more than an emotional response.
Now that I
have learnt to recognise my patterns – and let me tell you, this did NOT happen
after reading a couple of novels by academics in the area of mindfulness, but
it took practise and support.
I make
decisions and do not let things manifest to the point of tears every two weeks
(much to the detriment and confusion of my fiancée!).
I run
because I love to run and soak in the fresh morning air, not because I am
running away from me.
I feel full
of energy – because I don’t have to argue and face the questioning and
argumentative ‘should-er’ inside my head.
I live my
moments, each and every one of them because I choose to – I let them and let
myself see the amazing parts of them.
Learn to
have a relationship with yourself again.
Gain your
energy back to that teenage girl you used to be who stayed up throughout the
night only to wake up and bounce around the shopping malls or lecture theatre
the next day.
Discover
how to give yourself more time in the day; doing less, but achieving MORE and
have time to do the things that matter most to YOU.
Let’s chat
– you aren’t alone and there IS a path back to sanity, exuberance, strength and
vitality, I can show you.
Ashlee is a highly
effective and successful health, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach, who oozes
positivity and warmth. She has worked with a variety of clients (Check out the
testimonials page on her website) and has seen great success from even the most
unsuspecting women.
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