A random act of kindness...

After a tough 'Sunday-funday' morning at Pilates, I was well and truly ready to escape and re-fuel with a delicious extra hot, soy milk latte at the cafe nearby.
 I ordered. Virtually drooling at the mouth from the aromas floating around me and went to hand over my newly cut five dollar note to pay, but was stopped in my tracks. A middle aged guy wearing a hat, sunglasses and some very fashionista-like shredded jeans pulled my arm away and said "this is my gift to you". At first - as a young women wearing leggings and relatively tight Pilates gear, you wouldn't blame me for feeling a bit skeptical; I was not in the mood or of the desire to get a date from my post-workout coffee.
And as human nature beholds, the motive of a guy buying you coffee suggests that he probably isn't doing it a a friendly gesture with no strings attached.
To my surprise, the gentleman walked away with a smile on his face without any further communications or questions asked.

It was a random act of kindness, a simple and yet generous gesture from a complete stranger that made my morning.
                                        
I thought it was then my prerogative to pass on my good fortune and unexpected surprise to another unsuspecting person. I went to the newsagent and brought a 10 pack of 'just because' cards. I then wrote a personal and positive message to my ten closest work-mates and left them a pleasant surprise in their pigeon holes the very next day.

I'm not sure which one made me happier, or gave me more of a sense of surprising brightness - receiving that latte paid for by a stranger, or seeing the smiling faces of the people who I gave the cards to!
To be honest, I'd say that the warm hugs, the goofy grins, the look of complete surprise when each person found a tiny brown envelope with a pen drawn love heart in among the pile of boring paperwork in their staff pigeon holes was the best part of my day!
The lesson taken from that - always give out more than you receive, and never be afraid to bring some positive brightness to the days of others.
Each of those ten people approached me to thank me for the cards and their message, and also left with a positive outlook on their day to day routine, rather than feeling buried in the everyday work tasks and negativity.
It was something different, something unexpected and something that focused on the simple things that we often over-look.

A random act of kindness can come in any form. It might  be offering the person behind you a spot in front of you  at the supermarket cashier, giving a homeless person or a busker money as you pass them on a crowded street, giving a compliment to a stranger or someone you barely know, helping an elderly person cross the street or carrying their shopping, bringing dinner over to a friends house or doing the house chores while your house-mate or partner is at work.

The benefits of performing random acts of kindness are amazing - it helps release Oxytocin to reduce blood pressure and act as a protector against cardiac health issues, it improves mental health and outlook, mortality is delayed, depression is reduced, self satisfaction is improved, sense of overall wellness and quality of life is also raised. http://drdavidhamilton.com/ , http://blog.case.edu/case-news/2007/06/01/postbook

A small, or large random act of kindness can go a very long way in making the world a better place for both you and the people you 'act' your kindness towards!

What are you waiting for?

  

"But there's always next time".......quality over quantity

A comment by the warm hearted and friendly receptionist/Personal trainer at the Pilates studio I attend said a comment that really resounded with me today....
He started by asking me how my weekend has been? I replied and said "pretty good thanks, but it's just a shame it's already Sunday afternoon and the weekend is almost over!". He simply looked at me with a puzzled, but calm expression on his face and replied - "but there's always next weekend".
You know what? There is!

Isn't it funny how life can take us on a roller-coaster of adventure, work, study, travel, 'to-do lists' and gym workouts that sometimes we forget the simple fact that - there is always another day.
It's so easy to stress about the things we haven't finished; house work we haven't got to, new cafe's to try, time for a quick 'Nana nap' on the couch, time to read a capturing book, time to catch up with friends, time to get outdoors for some fresh end-of-winter air, time to get our heads around the ever changing news and current affairs of today's world, time to explore a new place, time to spend with family etc. etc. etc!!! If we really had the time to do everything we wanted in one weekend - we would have to remain awake from Friday to the wee hours of Monday morning, invent a time freeze machine or just accept the simple fact that we can't do everything.

                                                      
Most of us have been born into this world to be fortunate enough to have years to complete everything we fee we need to - and if not, the world doesn't end. It simply means that you've given yourself the time to enjoy the things you can do.

"It's all about quality, not quantity". It would be a terrible shame if we became so invested in trying to do everything and 'out-do' everyone else's 'instagram and facebook lives', that we forget to smell the roses and savor every moment of life that we have created.
Why not choose one thing to accomplish each day, each weekend, or even each week - what harm is it going to do if you reach that goal or 'tick that box' in a pace that suits you, your lifestyle and your needs.
Life is here to be lived yes - but to live a life you will remember and cherish is to also enjoy the moments you experience.

                                                        
Take a deep breath, have a look around you, taste those flavors of the amazing roast dinner you have cooked, smell the fresh aroma of you Sunday coffee, feel the breeze blow on your face next time you step outside, listen to the sound of the birds or trees blow in the wind - tantalize your senses and appreciate your existence and surroundings.

Aftr this morning's 'A-ha moment', I took myself on a people watching slow lap around Melbourne's The tan track; breathing deeply to take in the array of characters, fitness, fashion and conversations. I then thought about every muscle stretching and burning as the smooth sounds of the reformer bed moved in and out. I then took myself out for a nourishing lunch at a new cafe; indulging in the taste and texture of my eggs, vegetables and fresh juice, finishing off the afternoon by letting my creativity run free, letting my thoughts take hold over some reflective writing.


Let the knowledge and comfort of thought be with you knowing that there is always next weekend to explore new territory. Take the time to smell the roses. Enjoy and savor the moments of the life you live in.

XX

A woman's worst enemy....

It’s amazing how women, many of whom have issues with image, confidence and a general negative self-esteem are so patronizing toward each other – and we’re the first to do it to each other!!

After trawling through shops looking for clothes, I felt myself feeling very small, second guessing my worth to be able to walk into a shop and questioning my choice in outfit, hair, my skin color, shoes, handbag, even my the way I had my make-up (or non – existent make up!).

Somewhere along the way, we had grown into our own worst enemy. We are our number one judges and critics of everything about ourselves. The horrifying thing is that it is not just one or two of our magnificent gender, but almost all of us! Sometimes I don’t feel that I can make eye contact with other women as they are so intimidating; staring at every inch of us, making us feel as if there is something wrong about us. Most of the time it has become so habitual that we don’t realize we are doing it.

 

As I found myself walking into a shop filled with awesome clothes, clothes that suit my fashion vibe, clothes that I should feel very comfortable and excited to scan over – I found myself becoming like a shy school girl as the red lipped, baleyaged blonde shop attendant with a tight pencil skirt and high heels “Hi, how’s it going-ed” me and proceeded to ‘accidentally’ check out my image. It was as if I couldn’t see her, but oh – how I sensed the judgmental vibes! I slunk around the shop quickly and stepped outside again where a weight felt as if it were lifted off my shoulders.

Shop number two – a little classier and more expensive, but hey, a little browsing never hurt anyone! Again – I could feel the eyes of each FEMALE shop attendant and fake laugh to go with the ringing of “Hi, can I help you?”. Strike 2.

Walking to the next shop and I even found myself (without realising!) checking out the shapes, sizes, clothing and walk of the women who walk past. Taking notice now – I didn’t even look twice and a passing male. They could be shirtless and be wearing ugg boots for all I knew – unless we applied this to a Channing Tatum look-a-like of course!!

Anyway – I left the shopping center 2 hours later with somewhat of a bruised ego and ready to have a little ‘R & R’ time as I jump in my car singing at the top of my lungs to the funky beats playing on the radio.

Strike three – listening to the female presenter on the radio talking about the ‘arrogance’ and ‘over-confidence’ of a celebrity who has just made it to the top ten of the music charts in the US. Oh boy – we need to change something. We need to take the critic hat off; it’s as if we have just finished filming a season of ‘My Kitchen Rules’ or ‘Next top model’ that we have to criticize and compare every little thing each other does.

Watching The Bachelor last night; even my much laid back boyfriend couldn’t believe how insulting, negative, bitchy, analytic and again criticising the women who were fighting for Sam’s love were. They even spoke about ‘the girl code’ of not ‘cutting anyone else’s grass’, but three seconds later – they did and said that realistically if any of the other girls were in their situation, they would do the same! Ah well – who needs to look after each other?!

 It is horrible to watch, one could never blame anyone for the amount of tears and emotions that are shed on that TV show, it certainly is every women for herself!

Girls – listen up, we need to stop doing this. We are always on the lookout for things that make us feel great about ourselves; a healthy diet, summer skies, a kick-ass boot camp or Pilates workout, a scrumptious and cleansing green smoothie or a soul recharging retreat. But – how often do we stop to think about the things that contribute to our feeling a little worse for wear?

I question myself and my place in the world all too often. Yes – careers, family, a hectic social schedule and too many things on our ‘to-do’ lists play a part – but wouldn’t things be much easier if we each existed in a life that we feel safe, loved and content? Wouldn’t life be more fun and satisfying if we had the confidence and courage to challenge ourselves regularly? Which part of judging ourselves will send us on an epic journey of sisterhood and support?

I know that from my own experience with mental health issues in the past, and many sessions with a Counselor working through Cognitive Behavioral therapy – she revealed a really sad thing that I had been holding onto with my subconscious which effected every thought I had. “I am not good enough”. 

Let’s just think ourselves through, pull up our gorgeous lady-filled skirts and take care of the thoughts and feelings growing within us that can affect our outlook on life and mental health for the rest of our lives.

XXX

                                    

Don't get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life.....

How can it be, that life gets too exciting, too full of lists 'to do', too full of social events to go to, too full of ambition, too full of 'should do's', that we forget to take some time to care for the most important person to us - ourselves.

A few months ago, I began embarking on a journey to become a Pilates Instructor. From day 1 - I loved it! I felt renewed, fresh, calm, balanced and excited at the prospect of being able to develop my skills, knowledge and body at something 'new and shiny'. I had found a passion.
Initially I had decided to sign up for the 6 month long Reformer Instructor course, to give myself an extra source of income on the side-lines of my full time teaching job, as well as to complement my enjoyment of running and prevent the array of injuries that seem to be happening more regularly as I become older (I never actually believed my parents say that when they blamed old age for needing more time to rest to heal, thinking that it was their excuse to have some 'R & R' while the three energetic and bouncing kids played on the slide and cubby house outside for hours!!).
Yes - suddenly we realize that we do actually have to look after your bodies and our minds to be able to deal with the many day today tasks that life throws at us.

From the initial course, I found myself researching for hours, the various training courses and qualifications around Melbourne needed in my quest to become a better qualified instructor.
I met with (and dragged my very patient boyfriend along!) several franchise companies - perhaps I could set up and manage a studio? I emailed and phoned several well known Pilates instructors around town, to try and determine what was needed to become a well equipped, and eventually highly sought after Instructor. I bounced ideas and vented my frustrations with my Parents, friends and again my (by this point, EXTREMELY patient) boyfriend. I spent every spare moment at home, at work, between coffee dates and while waiting for appointments researching and running ideas through my brain - trying to figure out A) What I needed to do to get where I want to, B) Where exactly I wanted to be in the near and far future, and C) How in the world was I going to be able to get the time to do this whilst working full time??!!

Eventually I decided on a course, and have held off on setting up my own studio until I am better prepared - but it is amazing how much your own thoughts can almost sabotage your life, your relaxation, your ability to rest, your desire to enjoy the simple things and your own want to do anything else apart from Pilates, Pilates, Pilates!!!
I still very much love Pilates, and preach it's amazing benefits to everyone I speak to - but it was time to star letting my mind appreciate what is around me - instead of focusing so much on what I didn't have or what I had to add 'A.S.A.P'!!

My body was starting to scream at me; I wasn't enjoying the running or reformer classes like I used to. My mind was hurling negative thoughts from every direction; I was coming home in tears and stressed about things that really didn't matter. I wasn't enjoying the things that got me to this point in the first place!!!

Thank goodness - my Superhero boyfriend and wise old parents told me one thing. You need to allow yourself a break to enjoy the great life you already have! Sounds simple. At first, I didn't want to let myself take a step back thinking that I needed every spare second of time to dedicate to the 'idea' that I want to become. I thought to get better, I need to donate everything into getting there. This thought process got me to the point where my body was aching, my run times were slowing and my passion was beginning to wilt, like a week old rose.

I can happily and confidently say that after a week of including meditation, yoga, time to read my book, dropping back on a couple of days of running/pilates and actually going out on the weekend for a few drinks and social catch ups - has completely lifted my spirits.
I felt myself smiling after too many scooters, pilates hundreds and standing leg adduction exercises for a Sunday morning. I noticed the federation style houses, pot holes, newly landscaped gardens of the streets I ran through yesterday. I was reminded how refreshing a cold beer and glass of champagne can be with friends.
I was back! Life certainly isn't as difficult as my mind had me believe a couple of weeks ago. In realistic terms - Pilates and the opportunity to open my own studio will still be there waiting for me after I have a couple of weeks to process exactly what it is that I wanted to do.

Meanwhile - I am enjoying snuggling up on the couch after a delicious brunch, a cheeky couple of organic cakes, watching the footy and excited to begin a new week (hmm - not to say that Monday-itis won't hit tomorrow!!) of new moments, challenges and journeys...and yes embarking on my Instructor journey in a way that I can enjoy it, not resent it!!

Life is too short to get caught up in thinking too far ahead. Enjoy what you have, and enjoy the journey to your destination; wines, coffees, friends, blue skies and time doing nothing at all :-)

Challenge yourself to feel 'the flow of confidence' :-)

After a couple of weeks with a severe lack of training - due to injury and our sweltering Melbourne heat  wave(which is most definitely not the ideal preparation for a big race in a week and halves time!!), I have found myself with a wandering mind...


It's funny how when you stop doing the things that seem to give you confidence, your mind starts to feel as if it is unable to complete the things that should come easy to you.

I haven't been able to run or ride as much as I would have liked to. As a result, I have had more rest days than normal. Each of these rest days, in my mind, acts as a form of 'defeat'. I feel as if I am unable to do everyday tasks, achieve what I want to be achieving in my career, unable to complete the half ironman goal I set for myself (which - up until a couple of weeks ago, felt somewhat attainable!), unsure about the direction I am heading in life....confidence plays a very big role in our ability to take on larger tasks.

During a hard swim or run session, it is as if my body has to demonstrate to my mind that it is suitable and up to any upcoming challenges.
And when my body does what I want it to - I feel as if I am ready to take on a new challenge again! It's as if our mind has to interview or body, and occasionally, the other way around, to ensure that it is capable of being 'at one' with the other.
Being able to connect the two - mind and body, makes you a far stronger person.

A recent article in 'Runners world magazine', (p.74 - 77), suggests that being able to feel a sense of 'flow', where our body (or skill level - such a running, or completing a task at work) is matched with the level of challenge, makes us forget all of the little 'troubles' in our lives. For a period of time, we feel clear headed, confident and with a sense of growth and satisfaction. This 'flow' is what people, particularly high achievers become addicted to, and understandably!!

So how can we keep this so-called 'flow', allowing us to feel awesome and accomplished more often?

1) Set yourself a goal (Remember, we have to make something challenging for our 'skills'; not too difficult to cause anxiety, and not too easy to cause boredom).
2) Focus on the moment. Take the time to look around you, feel what your body/mind is doing rather than the extra large 'to do list' sitting on your fridge at home.
3) Focus on something that you can control. For example, as much as you like - you can't control everything.  So, the reaction of others, relationships or employment may be a little unreasonable to focus on all the time - think about your response, your actions, your own goals.
4) The more effort you put into your goal - generally the better result, and the resulting more regular 'flow' will occur. So 'go and get them girl!'.

Giving yourself challenging, but attainable goals is a brilliant and proven way to improve your confidence. Be it a physical, mental, family, workplace, academic or travel goal - the feeling of 'flow' you get from reaching it, or even knowing that you're getting closer to your goal will improve your confidence. It amazingly has a ripple effect on your outlook on life and gives you the confidence to try new challenges, or push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Xxx

Getting through the frustration of injuries or life events......

I now know how it feels to be stuck, patiently waiting for an injury to heal. Mind you - my injury is merely a deep, open blister in the very annoying and useful position of the instep of my foot arch, but none the same, it is frustrating, disappointing and making me feel abnormally anxious!!!

I had been training for the last few months consistently and to a slowly increasing level of kilometres and strength in my chosen sport (even though I still very much class myself in the 'recreational' but 'love it to bits' classification of triathlon).

I turned up ready to fire for my first race of the season; for which I was hopeful of being able to fare better than in previous years. As I unpack my gear bag and lay out my items of clothing and fuel at the transition area, I realise I have forgotten a valuable item of clothing; my socks. Convincing myself that this would be no major issue, I continued on through the race as if everything was going to work out fine.
Was I wrong! Sliding my bike into it's well deserved rest after the 40kilometre ride around St. Kilda's bay area, I slip on my runners, throw on my visor and off I run out to the last leg of the morning.


Five minutes in to the Forty minute run - the rubbing begins. By the time I hit the twenty minute mark, I can feel the soft, bare skin underneath my arch getting thinner, sticking to the bottom of my shoe and pulling a little more of the fragile layer of skin off my poor foot. Did it hurt? Absolutely!!! Was I going to stop? No way!!!
I continued aiming to catch every female ahead of me, focussing on each as a small goal to keep my mind from wandering back to the pain in my foot. Until finally - the finish line was in sight and I could finally kick off my favourite Nike frees like the Karate kid when he fought in the concluding fight of the film, minus the focussing moment of 'wax on wax off' before he completes his winning move!!

That annoying blister and need to finish the race has left me stuck with an infected, swollen and very agitated left foot all week. On top of a record week of heat -my friends have told me I have been a little on the 'angry' side this week......and I somewhat agree!

This lead me to think about how we can get through injuries that stop us from training, or doing the things we enjoy most - that tend to keep us sain. I discovered, as most of you can relate I am sure, that when you take away the one thing that keeps me motivated, feeling a sense of achievement, being free from restlessness or anxiety, escaping any trace of depression, taking something which may mean you have to change your goals or plans for the upcoming months or simply just your escape from the fast paced and sometimes societal pressured world around us.


So - before you rip some poor un-expecting friend or family members head off with a short fused backhand of a comment, consider trying he following strategies to get you through the recovery period....

- Try another form of exercise. If the physical nature of exercise is what burns that extra nervous/anxious energy, why not give something else a go. There is a range of activities available both indoors and outdoors, competitive and recreational which can focus on different areas of you 'injured zone'. If you have hurt your ankle, why not focus on getting those 'wash board abdominals' or toned upper arm muscles? Strengthening any supporting muscles (such as your glutes or core) now can save you getting another injury in the future.

- Reach out to family and friends. use the extra time to catch up and spend extra time with the friends you struggle to see when you get so caught up with other commitments, invite your family over for a dinner party or picnic, try out that awesome new café or shop to your hearts content to fill in the extra hours.


- Talk to people who have been through similar situations. It's surprising how simply having someone who has been through the same thing can have the effect of making you understand and feel as if you are going to get through it. They often have great ideas to keep you entertained - tried and tested!


- If you have the time, book a short getaway, either with friends or fly solo!

- Take up a new hobby. Why not try writing, cooking, learning a new language or if you're feeling really adventurous, have a go at setting up your own small business, or extra study; now they will keep you occupied!

- If you feel yourself getting anxious, why not try meditation, yoga or simply going outside for some fresh air and to gain some perspective on the situation. Sometimes it feels like you're a boiling pot of hit water, when it just takes a moment to step your mind outside of its situation and look around at the world still continuing on.


- If you had to alter your goals. So be it. You know what? You're going to want it more when you get back to your 'picture of health' , and will be a force to be reckoned with knowing that you're now also equipped with a stronger and more motivated mindset. Unfinished business is a powerful tool when times get tough!


Just try to keep your mind occupied. The more you sit around, the more you will find yourself thinking about the situation and that growing little ball of frustration inside of you will be tempted to want to explode!!!


Good luck Gorgeous Girls!
xxx

A new year - Reflecting on a better you :-)

So you made it to 2014 (relatively) unscathed and ready to attack another year with 'gusto'!

The beginning of the new year brings with it resolutions and new ideas, some so big that leave you feeling as if you couldn't possibly fathom to write everything down in an ordered and well-planned list.
Resolutions are a great way to take a closer look at the life you are living and perhaps plan to make some changes to make it better. But is it relevant if you haven't really given yourself some time to reflect on your life; your achievements, your fears, dreams, goals, new interests or dislikes?

I know that the iconic New years eve and New years day festivities are starting to come to a close - as we recover from the heavy celebrations. However, if you have not done so already, take a moment to really think about your life and all of the trials and triumphs which you dealt with in 2013.
Write it all down, draw a picture, create a photo board or have a chat with a close friend or family member'.

When I look back on the year that I have had - it has probably been one of the biggest learning curves I am yet to have. My year consisted of such highs, such lows, and so many moments of feeling a little 'lost' in the big world.

I lost a job and gained a job, I had a relationship slowly melt away while I found new light in the company of others more than ever before, I travelled the world, studied, had a 'mini - career change', I witnessed the marriage of two close friends, found and re-kindled my relationships with my 'soul mate' friends.......but I also found myself and appreciate who I am, what I have achieved over the years and look forward knowing that I will continue to achieve and learn new things in future years.

I have learnt that although life is not always filled with roses, I regret nothing and know that I have become a stronger person for each of these.
I have seen my strengths and weakness' as a person and will not only work on improving these, but also accept the things about me that make me the person that I am.

So if you have not done this already - take some time to sit and think about your life - every little part of it. I guarantee as you sit back and actually think about these things, the low parts seem to be a lot smaller than you originally thought. When one door closes, another always opens - which although doesn't always happen straight away, gives us a sense of comfort knowing that amazing things are on their way.
'Everything happens for a reason' and the cards you were dealt simply need to be accepted, as you take the reigns and drive your life to brilliance!

New years resolutions - be gone. Its time to reflect, appreciate and get excited about another year to come full of choices, happiness, new experiences and becoming a step closer to your dreams!

Xx