What I have learnt - or perhaps I should say continue to learn (as it pops up on regular occasions despite my understanding of what my on thoughts are trying to do to my actions!), is that it is important to get over the fact that you will never be perfect and great at everything.
Sorry to burst your bubble - but it is not possible. Of course, some people may SEEM to be on top of everything, successful in everything they put their hand up for or simply just 'good' in EVERY aspect of their lives - but trust me, these people have got a lot more going on than you may realize. Somewhere hidden away from prying eyes and people who see them on a day to day basis, they have got their own demons, their own battles - they just choose to never open themselves up to anyone in fear of losing their 'perfect persona'.
One thing that time and time again - I struggle with, and an inner burning that builds from the deepest part of my stomach is trying NEW things. I'll admit - I am a perfectionist to an extent; something I have shared with you before. I like to be good or at least reasonable at things when I try them - particularly when it involves other people being around.
It's funny - although in no way do I blame anything or anyone for this thought process except my own sense of reasoning - I always remember my Mum's words ringing in my head when we washed the car as kids or vacuumed the floors "If you're going to do a job, make sure you do it PROPERLY"...harmless and in every intention it was prompting us not to be lazy or 'miss' very obvious bits of our weekly chores, but it's a saying that has been around for so many years and used by so many families that it becomes partly ingrained in our thinking! It's funny to laugh at it now - but it just makes you reflect on how society has been socially built over the years.
People who are successful (good at what they do or who they are), are often seen to be in a sense 'better' in the social hierarchy than those who seem to struggle with theirs.
Think about it for a moment and picture this - 'Tara' is one of the best Pilates instructors at a studio, she has a resume of qualifications and experiences as long as you could see, she has three different careers in the health field (each one she is at the top of her field), she has a loving husband, has had two 'Bond's model - like' twin girls, has a figure and looks of a supermodel and is incredibly lovely in personality.
'Tegan' has moved from job to job over the past ten years, she has been studying part time for the past three years, has two kids (one has Autism), their Father left them last year, she has no time to cook 'healthy' meals and even less to get out and exercise. She just can't seem to get ahead financially and lives pay to pay each week.
Which of the two do you think holds higher stature in society? Which of the two do you think has 'the better' life? Which do you think people will 'want to be like'? Which do you think is happy?
You know what - it is Tegan. Behind closed doors, Tara is depressed. Her relationship with her husband is not as good as it used to be, she feels as if she has no time to do the things she really wants to do and her twin daughters never sleep.
Interesting.
Anyway - the point to my story is that nobody is ever perfect. If you let the fear of not being good at something prevent you from trying it - you will never reach your full potential, you will never feel fulfilled and you will never grow in confidence as you extend and develop your skills in whatever field you try. Do you think an Olympic athlete got to where they are because someone just 'knew' they would win a gold medal as they walked past them on the street? No - at one point, they turned to their event, gave it a go and found that with hard work, they had some talent.
Do you think that every high flying business owner got to where they are in ONE attempt? Of course not - although it doesn't get preached about in public too often - most if not all of them attempted several business ideas or career choices and FAILED before they go to where they are now.
As babies and even adults - we learn by making mistakes. After getting not one, but two speeding tickets in the SAME place this year, I drive almost 'Grandma-like' now knowing that I am avoiding paying a wasteful amount of money to the state government. Fights with friends or parents, or getting in to trouble at school, stepping out of line at home - you get told off, you learn from it, you move forward as someone who is much wiser.
Many people put a 'protective barrier' up and either don't try or avoid the situation where they may have to attempt the thing that they either a) know they are not great at, or b) have no idea how they will go because it is foreign to them.
How in the world will you EVER know what you could be GREAT at it you put your 'safe guard' up everything an opportunity comes along in fear of not being able to succeed?
If you're like me - you will OVERTHINK everything until you get the the stage where you talk yourself out of trying or doing it and never get to experience something that could potentially be awesome!
Accept that it is okay to fail. Accept that if you are building a new skill - every other person who has tried it for the first time would have been in the same situation as you initially, but have just started to fine-tune their skills. We learn from mistakes, we learn from experiences and we learn from time.
So - put those niggling, over-analytical voices to bed, be okay with not being perfect (not ONE person in the world is!!), and know that who you are makes you YOU. Give that next goal, activity, career jump, challenge, new skill or crack - you just might be amazing or at the very least, find something you actually LOVE!!
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