Self esteem is one of the biggest things that can impact our outlook on life, which therefore will have an enormous effect on our overall happiness, satisfaction and the ability to have the confidence to challenge ourselves and follow our dreams, goals or passions.
So here are a few things to ensure you are staying on-track and simply not being your own worst enemy; which is harder than you would think!!
- 1) Don’t ever compare yourself to others...you are you. You control your actions and thoughts only. If you are always trying to be better than ‘the other girls’, you’ll never be happy with yourself. Many women hold this ‘comparative attitude’ for many years, and sadly it can lead to being in unhappy relationships, not doing things that they enjoy (and doing them because everyone else is!), and never feeling ‘good enough’ to have the confidence to believe they can achieve the goals and dreams they really want.
- 2) Recognise that mistakes are part of life. I challenge you to think of one person who has never made a mistake in their life.....??? Everyone makes mistakes. It may be big, it may be small. But it is how we learn as humans!!! Does anyone have a younger brother or sister?? Have you ever seen them do something ‘naughty’ or ‘dangerous’ (perhaps reaching up to touch a hot water pot, running across a busy road?). From when you were born, you were learning how to ‘live’. As much as we like to think that we have everything covered by the time we get to ‘adult-hood’, we NEVER stop learning!! Even the world’s smartest person is always learning new things! The key is that when you do make a mistake; you learn from the outcome or consequence.
- 3)Think and speak positively: If we always look at life with ‘the glass half full’, refuse to accept friendly compliments from others, think of the worst possible outcome of something we are about to do and tell ourselves that ‘we can’t’ – what do you think our inner thoughts are going to be doing to our attitudes and confidence??? That’s right – think positive, speak positively about yourself (don’t accept negative thoughts from anyone, including yourself!!).
- .4) Surround yourself with positive people: If there are people in your life that seem to be always negative about the things you do or say, and seem to be only doing things to ‘help themselves’ (also known as 'frenemies'!!). Perhaps its worth considering spending less time with them? I have been in many situations where you can be as happy and optimistic as can be, but constant exposure to people around you who always look at the bad side and seem to only talk about things as ‘such a drag’ on life....it is most definitely going to have an effect on you.
- 5) Give yourself regular rewards and a ‘pat on the back’. Every small step is a step forward. Give yourself a pat on the back, smile to yourself or take yourself out to do something you enjoy for something you did well. Yes – it is definitely ok, and much research has shown that regular small ‘rewards’ (perhaps its taking some time out to go out for coffee/hot choccy with your friends or buying yourself a new dress or magazine!), are often more effective than waiting until you can do something really big (perhaps a long term goal you reached – which of course is just as awesome!) to praise and reward yourself. Sometimes a small smile to yourself as you say “well done chick!” can be all you need to pick up your mood and confidence for the entire day!
- So write down the key dot points, post them onto your mirror to look each morning while you get ready to be the best and most confident you!
Xxx
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