How asking for support opened my eyes to the world......

Over the last couple of weeks, the people I am closest to know that it has been a difficult, thought provoking, anxious, somewhat depressed time in my life.
I found myself in a place where I was no longer happy with the environment around me, uninspired and feeling in a sense 'stuck' in a place that I no longer wanted to be. I had big dreams and plenty of moments of inspiration, enthusiasm and passion over the past year - which has grown to the level that I feel as if there is a new path for me to follow.

Of course - I know that there are so many areas in my life that i love and are incredibly grateful for; my amazingly supportive fiancee, my 5 year old 'soon to be' step son, the learning path of Wellness/health coaching and Pilates fitness instruction I have been exposed to, the people I have met along the way, my unrepeatable and forever loving family, the blissful Bali adventures I was lucky enough to retreat to twice this year and many more.

The passion that has always been in me, but has grown and been encouraged to develop by several people and role models has come to a place where keeping it 'squashed' inside my heart and soul, just waiting to be released as bursts of inspiration is really getting to me.

I had to take some time off my usual workplace as a Teacher, which over the past 7 years (as a fully qualified teacher - with over 10 years as a 'Teacher in training' or Sports Coach) has had it's place and brought many moments, experiences, staff and students I have taught that have lead me to be the person I am today, and who have shaped much of my outlook on life, inner confidence and have taught me much more than I will ever realize. I am currently at a point in which feeling 'stuck' in a place between where conventional thinking says to stay (higher wage, consistent income, a profession well regarded in society), and heartfelt, intuitive thinking says to change.
Change is a scary place - particularly into a field that is less predictable, an income that is not always going to be consistent, a career that many people 'scoff' at as not being a 'real' career, and into something that may put extra financial and emotional pressure (as goes with starting a new business) on the people close to me (not to mention at a time when we are  planning a wedding and considering starting to try for a family in a years time).

My anxiety has been so extreme that it was being felt on a physical level (stomach aches, migraines, back pain, fatigue, nausea and a decrease in appetite), as well as an emotional level (tears, worry, insomnia and a constant feeling of being 'on-edge').

Throughout this period - the thing that has been able to make sense of everything and provide some sense of clarity to my thoughts has been sharing the pressure with those around me. For many months, my anxieties have been building and for that  time I have never shared the extent to which my worries and concerns have been getting to me - leaving me to continue on the path I am currently following in the hope that maybe things will become easier.

I've said before - conversing some of my thoughts with my amazing fiancee has been occurring throughout this time - but sometimes it takes someone or  a few people who are not so emotionally vested in you to provide a lifting hand to get you out of the hazy reality.

Over the past couple of weeks I have spoken with a Psychologist and an amazing, wise and generous lady from my workplace who have worked through the crazy and over-whelming thought processes clouding my brain. It's amazing how you can start to feel like some 'crazy person' or 'alien' from society when you are  left alone with your own thoughts and internal pressures for too long. These two special and supportive people have been able to reassure me how valid my reactions have been and helped me to work through not only a process to be able to move forward into the life that i am deeply passionate about as well as help me to address my inner self critic and lack of self confidence that adds to the anxieties of being able to reach my goals.

As much as I love teaching and preaching about these topics to others - until you have a good discussion with someone else, sometimes you don't realize the inner self sabotage that can take over a much larger part of your thinking than it should.

My point is - NEVER underestimate the power of communication, keeping people around you (not isolating yourself and pushing away those that want to help - like some of us can be great  at - me included!!) and ASKING FOR HELP.
When I think back to points in my life where things have felt incredibly overwhelming and difficult, it is often those around who you wouldn't consider to be your closest friends are those that are often the best people to help you through the process. Several people have approached me to support me through the past couple of weeks who I never would have thought knew I was even within their sights!

The key to getting through difficult times is your ability to OPEN UP and trust that people want to help you, support you and even just be a sounding board for ideas. I have always had issues with sharing my deepest thoughts with people (even those who are most closest to me!), in fear of them judging me or having an unwanted reaction. You know what - my 'joining of the dots' has NEVER been a true reflection of what happened once I do tell them what is going. I have always managed to build an idea in my head of the outcome of conversations or actions that I have taken without it being built on actual evidence. The only thing this will help you to do is increase your anxiety, decrease your self confidence and lead you to never following your heart or your dreams.

Communicate, involve people around you in your difficult times (as well as amazing times of course!!) and be willing to ask for help if you feel yourself going in a downward spiral.

For now - I continue to write, read and take on board this advice which is helping me to see that there is no such thing as 'stuck', only an imaginary idea we can sometimes create in our own minds.

Would love to hear your thoughts and own journeys!

Why you should be doing yoga as part of your daily routine....

So we've all heard that Yoga is meant to be 'good' for us. But what does it actually do for us and how do we go about finding a type of class that suits us; after all, it can be quite overwhelming to look at your gym timetable to see six different types of yoga sessions held over the week!

I started doing Yoga a few weeks ago after a long few years of only completing mostly running, pilates and swimming based workouts.
I love the calmness and sense of control of your own body, your movements, your posture, your thoughts and your breathing. Even one hour long session a week seems to clear my mind for the week ahead. My energy levels are a little bit higher due to the reduced amount of tension in both my mind and body, and even my nervous mannerisms seem to stop because I become a lot more mindful of my own body. The answer - a confident, chilled out and energized Miss!!

So what are some of the other benefits of yoga?

Increasing Flexibility – yoga has positions that act upon the various joints of the body including those joints that are never really on the ‘radar screen’ let alone exercised.

Increasing lubrication of the joints, ligaments and tendons – likewise, the well-researched yoga positions exercise the different tendons and ligaments of the body.
Surprisingly it has been found that the body which may have been quite rigid starts experiencing a remarkable flexibility in even those parts which have not been consciously work upon. Why? It is here that the remarkable research behind yoga positions proves its mettle. Seemingly unrelated “non strenuous” yoga positions act upon certain parts of the body in an interrelated manner. When done together, they work in harmony to create a situation where flexibility is attained relatively easily.

Massaging of ALL Organs of the Body – Yoga is perhaps the only form of activity which massages all the internal glands and organs of the body in a thorough manner, including those – such as the prostate - that hardly get externally stimulated during our entire lifetime. Yoga acts in a wholesome manner on the various body parts. This stimulation and massage of the organs in turn benefits us by keeping away disease and providing a forewarning at the first possible instance of a likely onset of disease or disorder.

Complete Detoxification – By gently stretching muscles and joints as well as massaging the various organs, yoga ensures the optimum blood supply to various parts of the body. This helps in the flushing out of toxins from every nook and cranny as well as providing nourishment up to the last point. This leads to benefits such as delayed ageing, energy and a remarkable zest for life.

Excellent toning of the muscles – Muscles that have become flaccid, weak or slothy are stimulated repeatedly to shed excess flab and flaccidity.

http://www.healthandyoga.com/html/yoga/Benefits.aspx


Sounds awesome? Well here is a brief run down of what to expect from some of the main types of yoga to ease your decision about which one to attend....

- In the yoga world, classes abound for women (and men) looking to move quickly, slim down, and maybe fast-forward through most of the chants and meditations. Classes in this group—which tend to have names like Dynamic Flow and Power Yoga—are heavy on speedy sequences, keep the music modern (think Adele and Prince remixes, not Enya), and take more creative liberties with their poses and sequences.

- If you love the heart-pumping, muscle-building benefits but want something more traditional, Bikram may be more your style. It always flows through the same 26 postures every class—but in a steaming-hot studio. It should be noted that "hot yoga" is not synonymous with Bikram. This personally 'killed me', but there are plenty of people who love this style!

- While still focusing on mindful meditation, instructors also zero in on helping you understand why certain poses are difficult and finding individual solutions—one reason alignment-focused vinyasa sessions are great for beginners.

- Of course, yoga is not only concerned with what your body is doing. Mental strength and serenity are just as fundamental. A great example: Ashtanga yoga, one of the godfathers of the yoga world. Also called Mysore style (for the city in India where it began), it is serious—like, six days a week, early morning, in a quiet room serious. Often, a teacher will walk you through a series, with set "asanas" (a.k.a. postures) that remain mostly the same from day to day. The whole practice is about breath, movement, and discipline.

- BODYBALANCE™ is the Les Mills Yoga, Tai Chi, Pilates workout that builds flexibility and strength and leaves you feeling centred and calm. Controlled breathing, concentration and a carefully structured series of stretches, moves and poses to music create a holistic workout that brings the body into a state of harmony and balance.

- That sense of ease is a yogi's main goal and the reason meditation is so crucial to the practice. Kundalini yoga,  focuses on building spiritual strength. If you don't exercise your body, what results can you expect? You can't expect an extraordinary shift in your mind without meditation.

There are classes available at your local gym and many Yoga schools which can be found through a simple 'Google search'!
I dare you try give it a go for a few weeks and see if you notice the difference. Not only will it help to clear your head and calm your racing thoughts, but it will also help strengthen your muscles, improve your 'office chair slump' posture and actually improve your performance in other physical activities!

Xxx

What we can learn from women around the world...

After a lovely sunny catch up with some great friends yesterday afternoon - the girls in the group quickly 'peeled' away and started catching up on lost time, gossiping and just having general  'as girls do'.
One of the girls had just returned from a getaway to South America and began to share stories with us all of the adventures she had (when the conversation began with the exciting news of her engagement with her new fiancee - it was heading in a super energetic and enthusiastic direction quite quickly!).

We started talking about how different the 'body confidence' culture between women in Australia/the US/UK is compared to the South American and Latino culture.
My gorgeous, yoga loving friend was explaining how she wanted to go and buy some bikini's (as you do when you're in a beach lined, tropical weathered country holidaying with 'the man of your dreams!'). She trawled through the entire country (or I should say countries as it was a 'roaming adventure holiday and South America is very large for those who have recently checked out a map!) searching from store to store, trying to find something that covered her bottom (and not just her 'crack') and something that fit her breast area. But nope - no luck!

Obviously the common body shape differs between cultures and backgrounds of people, but it was still a hot topic to speak about amoungst us girls when they're boobs are often much LARGER, and their bottoms much BIGGER - but they only sell SMALLER bikinis!
We started reminiscing about our experiences from our own holidays about the confidence level of many South  American (particularly Brazilian and Argentinian) women and men.
The curves and shape of a woman is seen as beautiful the more shape you have. Here; it has almost become a culture of having NO curves and being quite flat in the stomach, 'booty' and chest area as women strive to be thing.
The women over there will be more than comfortable walking the streets in skin tight, short dresses, tony denim shorts with NO top or even just their bikini's with some nice heels. That is normal. Women accept and love their shape, no matter what size and thrive on the love and attention they get from passers by.

The men over there love the openness of women (and other men I might add), their ability to love their shape, their figure, their own souls and to be so willing to share this love with all of their friends, family and acquaintences.
The affection and body contact shown in the South American culture is far different to that seen in even the 'cheesiest' clubs around Australia. I must admit, when I was over there, I was very reserved and shy initially when complete strangers would come up to me to dance the salsa and tango; rubbing their bodies against mine and looking your directly into your eyes. It was quite intimidating and uncomfortable initially.
The thing is - they are so connected with their body and soul that they  are able to appreciate and speak to each other through their eyes, their expressions, their body and that makes communication so much more powerful than typing on someones facebook or instagram account!

you can only imagine the environment that the little girls of that culture would grow up into. They grow up dancing, moving their body to show their emotions, singing out loud, laughing with their eyes and enjoying just being alive.
Yet - in the culture that has developed in our country (and many other westernized cultures), our daughters have grown into a world where they learn to be as 'perfect' as the models and celebrities in the movies they watch or as high pressured and severely lacking in self esteem as their own mothers or women role models speak about diets, sugar and counting calories.
How much can we learn from the women of these South American nations? More than we could ever hope to imagine. A world where women and society in general embrace individuality, shape, love and enjoyment over perfectionism, high achieving and 'fitspo' stereotyped instagram culture - just  take a moment to reflect on which you would rather bring your own daughters (both now and in the future) into.

I certainly know which I would rather.

It doesn't take much to start looking around and taking note of the rising mental health issues, eating disorders and low body confidence issues that surround us each day. I highly doubt that there are many (or any) of you that have not been touched in some way by a friend or family member who has suffered the agony of one of the above which is partly something society is responsible for.

Perhaps it's time to take a moment to reflect on how you view your own selves; your body, spirit, mind and personality and how you take care of it.
What needs to change to be able to live freely, with a healthy self image, confidence and enthusiasm for life to go and chase your dreams.

What would can you do to change this culture? to change yourself? and to ultimately change the world?

Xxx

How we sabotage our goals with FEAR & EXCUSES, and how to get past them....

Put your hands up if you have ever had an awesome idea, a dream, a goal that gave you a feeling of butterflies that lifted you with exuberance out of bed in the morning?

Put your hand up if the closer you got to reaching your goal, the further it seemed - to the point where you gave up?

Yes - I completely relate! And I know that there are many of you who would feel the same way.
It  can be quite exhausting and leave you feeling flat and burnt out to have 'all these grand plans' in the forefront of your mind, but then over-think them to the point that they become too hard or with too many obstacles for it to be realistic.

Sometimes rather than being REASONS for not being able to reach our goal, we think of EXCUSES - both internally and externally.

Sometimes these excuses aren't even real - they may be fed to us by the media, through speaking with other people (and the 'reasons' or excuses that have prevented them from reaching their goal), or perhaps it is something that is subconsciously in our thought processes from something our parents or another said to us a child.
More often than not - these are NOT real, and unfortunately are destructive; keeping many of  us from doing what we are really capable of.

In actual reality - these thought processes form the actions we do to get  ourselves closer to where we want to be or what we want to be doing. These are the very often (and I do understand that sometimes certain things  are simply difficult or unattainable at THIS point in time) only thoughts and the excuses or boundaries we place in front of ourselves. So - in fact, it is US that are holding ourselves back!

Think about some of the following 'excuses' and see if they resonate in you?

1) You're not smart enough.
There is no reason why you should be any less capable than anyone else. So you haven't been to the best uni course, or even finished school - did you know that some of the most successful people have come from backgrounds where school was almost a 'non - event' or was the most horrible academic experience of their lives!) My brother and best friend are two examples who I admire greatly.
Both only just finished year 12 (very disinterested in the whole idea of study and school). My brother now runs his own successful arbor business and makes more money than a lot  of people I know, and my best friend has gone on to complete her PHD in exercise science focusing on altitude  training and elite athletes. Don't get me wrong - it hasn't always been the easy road for them - but it just shows you that if you have drive and passion, you can do a 'hell of a lot' with your life!

2) You're too young.
Just think about the guys who developed Facebook and Myspace and even google - these guys certainly weren't in the older age bracket  when they become leaders in the business and finance world! If you're keen, and willing to learn from everything around you - you're probably much more receptive and able to grow and be THE BEST in your chosen field than someone who is older and quite often stale or set in their ways within their industry. Ever heard of the saying - 'Fresh and new talent'?

3) You haven't been to university.
Again - think back to my first point! There is ALWAYS a way to around it. Experiences, ideas, commitment and passion get you a long way in any field of work. Even if you wanted to go to university down the track - this IS possible!

4) You don't have what it takes.
If you are  willing to work hard to 'have what it takes' - then here's some words of advice - you HAVE what it takes! Most people fall by the wayside and don't want to compromise, sacrifice or put in the hard work to get them to where they want to be. If you do - you have just put yourself a head in front of MANY. Just remember to stay focused on the stuff that matters and let go of some of the things that don't.

5) You haven't 'done your time'.
To some extent and in some industries this is true - but you know what, if that is where you want to be, there will be a few small sacrifices you can make to STILL get there (and gain the experience along the way). Experiences also don't mean the same for every person. you might be in your workplace for five years and not move forward fro your current role, compared to someone who has been in it for two years and have brought forward several new ideas to achieve and add value to their organisation. Put yourself out there and have a go at  trying a few of those 'great ideas' inside that head of yours!

6) You're unskilled.
Have you had a look at the hundreds (even thousands) of training organisations and volunteer opportunities on the internet recently? Get out there and 'up-skill'. They don't always have to cost money either. Simply volunteering at an organisation in the industry you want can be incredibly helpful. Keep yourself 'read up' on new trends in the industry you want to be in.

7) You don't have the money to make it happen.
Have a closer look at your weekly spending - what do your really NEED? What do you WANT? (Think buying lunches and dinners, coffees, Foxtel, clothes......). Many courses or business start  ups come from either borrowing money or simply starting on a smaller scale until the business/goal builds to a point where they can continue to grow it. You don't go out and buy a million dollar inner city house for your first home do you? No - but if you're smart about your money, in years to come you will. Loans can be an option if you are willing to work the money back and look closely at where you can keep costs low.

8) I'm not ready to make a change.
Who is ever ready??! Most of us fight change and resist change because it is new and uncomfortable. If we need to change something - it is usually because whatever we are doing NOW is no longer working for us. Yes, it will take courage, persistence, energy and commitment - but think about your future and your life happiness. If you aren't where you want to be - what do you need to change to get yourself there?

9) What if it doesn't work out?
"But oh - what if it does!". Think about your vision. How will it look, feel, sound when you reach your goal. What will change if you reach your goal? There is no point in letting something you desire NOT happen because you are afraid of something that has NEVER even happened? If worst case scenario it doesn't work - you will deal with it. The most  successful people are those who have tried to build their dreams, fallen and learnt from the experience to build something BIGGER. Use the resources around you to help fine tune what you need to do differently and to get through it.

So - Think about the excuses that  are  currently stopping you from doing the things you dream about or want to do.
What can you do/think differently to get the result you want in the future?
What resources do you need to help you get there?

Good luck!

Vision Boards - the how to's and why they're AWESOME!

I've recently discovered the 'power of a vision board'! A vision board is basically a tool (as simple as it sounds, it is a large board with lots of images posted to it), that you can use to help remind you of the goals you wish to reach. It can also be a tool in helping to remind us of all of the amazing things we have done in our lifetime (which are so often forgotten when we get caught up in the fast paced lives of the modern world). It is something to keep your focus on your intentions in a way that is meaningful to you.


Try to envisage what your “better life” looks like. For those of us who find that somewhat difficult, making a vision board can be a great help; not to mention fun to make! In order to create your vision board, you should seek images that represent specific details of this wonderful new life you have 'envisaged'. That means narrowing it down to specifics. For some, a better life might mean having a new car or home. Others may be seeking a new relationship or improvements in existing relationships. Many of you have probably heard the saying "most of us never get what we want because we don’t know what we want". Making a vision board is an awesome way to bring clarity to that general desire and turn it into an achievable goal. http://www.makeavisionboard.com/what-is-a-vision-board.html

Once you dream it, the next step is to believe it. In addition to images, vision boards can include words, phrases or sentences that affirm your intentions. Affirmations express who you really are, release you from those limiting beliefs (you know that cheeky voice in our head that makes us all aware of the negative!), and allow you to know that the possibilities really are unlimited.


Your vision board can be as specific or general as you like. The beauty of it is, that it is yours! You can add what you like, make it as big or small, colourful and bright, written or pictured, personal photos or related images, it could be made on the computer or simply attached to a cardboard sheet....there are not right or wrong ways of doing it.

These are examples of the vision boards I have created:

- A destination/goal board: Which includes what you ideal destination in life look like. It could include a dream job, a sporting/fitness goal, financial goals (such as purchasing a house), or it could simply include things like  family, friends and all the areas of life that you wish to continue to keep in your life for the years ahead.
- A happy board: This is my favourite, and get prime position in my lounge room! This might just be a big collection of things that make you happy, past experiences or memories, bits and pieces from overseas trips, letters from friends, photos, favourite quotes.... it should be something that makes you smile on the inside (and the outside!). In fact, recent research has shown that people who smile (even if it is forced) have a reduced level of stress as opposed to when they are frowning or concentrating.

You can change it and update it as you reach your goals, or simply decide to move in a different direction form your initial thoughts.
 
Now get creating girl!!

Xxx

One of those days.....how to get past it!

So - this morning I woke up at 5.18am (yes, weird I know, but those extra  2minutes make all the difference in me showering or not showering!!).
I jumped in the shower, had my green juice, picked up my bags (to passers by I would've closely resembled a 'pack horse' or 'camel on a voyage across the Sahara desert) and hopped into my little black Mazda - 3.

I drove the usual dark and quiet street venture out to Pilates, which is about a twenty minute drive away. I was about two minutes from reaching the lit up and rose smelling studio on Chapel street in Melbourne - when I was shocked out of my wits and realised the tram in front of me had come to a stop, and a person was stepping outfrom the carraige.
I slammed my brakes on as my heart rode inot my chest and missed the petrified twenty something woman who was now two metres in front of the front bumber of my car.
Anyone who has ever come close or has been in a collision either as a pedestrian, a bike rider or a vehicle drive knows that feeling. Your heart jumps up so high that it feels like you are almost vomiting. Your brain goes into a sense of alertness and shock as you realize what could of nearly just happened. You feel a deep sense of guilt that your actions could have in effect, changed someones life or had a detrimental effect. You panic thinking how stupid you were for not focusing for the split second knowing the consequences that could've followed. You throw your arms up in the air and whimper with sincere apology and then you feel a wave of emotion come to the fore-front of your mind as you battle bursting into tears.

This morning, that was me to a tea. The only difference was that today the Tram driver stopped the tram in the middle of the main intersection of a busy Melbourne inner city street, stepped out of the driver seat onto the road next to me and began to shake his head, wave his arms in the air and repeat for the next five minutes (that was the longest five minutes  of my life!) "You stupid, brainless, idiotic Bitch!" over and over.

I did what anyone else would do and burst into tears, sinking into my car seat (by this stage the entire tram was leaning over to the side window to see what the commotion was about) - as I whispered hoarsely through my tears "Ok - I know, I'm so sorry - you don't have to call me a stupid Bitch".

Eventually the driver returned to his seat in the front of the Tram and he slowly continued on down the main road - leaving me to slowly drive squinting through the tears of guilt trying to calm myself down so I could walk into Pilates in a somewhat respectable state.

I made it in.
I put my big yellow sports bag into the change-room locker and quickly scanned through my emails before class started. I recently sold my new Nike runners on Ebay (for a 'steal might I add - I brought them for $180, wore them once and found they were too big so ended up selling them on Ebay for $95 including the $17 interstate postage), to a buyer who wanted a refund as they were too small. In asking whether she had sent my shoes back so I could sell them to another buyer - she had sold them and kept my refunded money.

Great  start to the day. It was only 6am.

I walked out of the change rooms to get to my class and was pushed over by another girl who didn't say sorry, or even acknowledge that it happened!
Argh - do I scream, do I let the water works start up, do I crawl back into bed and claim that I was sick or my car broke down??!!

I revved myself up to do the - let me say tough and uncomfortable leg session on the reformer. A few emotions were put back in their box as I forcefully worked my muscles and tried to focus on my breathing.

After class I had to get a blood test done before work - so 'Yay' for such an awesome morning!

One more - I was told I had to start  work an hour earlier (no extra pay for all those 'over-time workers' unfortunately) to cover someone who is not coming in tomorrow. I'll have to wake up at  5am.

Anyway - I thought I'd take a moment to take a breathe, think about all of the GOOD, no - GREAT things that  are around me and ahead of me and break those negative thoughts down in their tracks.

We've all been here before, where 'one of those days' thought processes starts to take over your energy levels, motivation, inspiration and passion for life. It's all very easy to fall inot that trap of wanting to just give up.

You know what? Surely after a run of 'negative' things to happen, that just leaves a doorway for a hell of a LOT of positive thing to walk into your life.
A few sayings and quotes come to my mind in this type of situation - which I thank my precious Dad for; 'After a long hill, there is ALWAYS the easy ride down the other side' and 'Good things come to those who wait'. They sound like just a bunch of words that some 'philosopher' thought up while sitting at his desk looking out on the green pastures of their 'fields of gold'.

Before you dismiss them - take a moment to reflect on them. How have they appeared or 'worked' in your life in the past? List them.
Now - transfer those experiences and thought processes the next time you have 'one of those days' and see how diffrent or how quickly you can turn your thought process around.

Good luck!

A dissapointing message to Mental health - Venting my frustrations.....

As I driving along the freeway on the way to work this morning, I felt a huge sense of frustration come over me as I listened to the radio.
The station that I normally love and sing along with some serious 'vim and vigor' had something in their news that really resonated with me and made me think about our values and priorities in society.
The news-reader stated in her clear, level and enthusiastic voice - "And if you need to take a day off or 'sickie' from work, you should say that you are  sick with 'gastro' or a virus. Two out three bosses do not think that stress, depression and anxiety are a good enough reason to take a day off work".

I was left gobsmacked and started shouting out loud to the radio (of course they could hear me through the car stereo of my Mazda 3!!) in disgust.
As far as mental health goes, it has a growing and concerning presence in today's world. Having been a sufferer of several of these conditions on and off for the last twelve years, I know how debilitating
 they can be.
 
I've had 'gastro', the flu, colds, laryngitis, tonsillitis, been in hospital for a couple of health issues - but the pain and hurt to both yourself and those around you when depression and anxiety hit is often much worse than all of those 'physical illness'.
I've had days where I could not get myself up out of bed, or pushed myself out of bed only to return a few hours later to bury  my head under my sheets.
I've had nausea and headaches so painful from the tension built up in my body that I haven't been able to stand up.
I've been so dizzy and 'shaky' from anxiety that my energy levels have been non-existant (despite being seemingly healthy otherwise with lots of nutritious food and exercise).
I've had friendships break down from the cloud that filled my mind dis enabling me to see the effects my choices to become isolated and distant have had on them.
I went through stages where getting a job became difficult because I became so anxious about starting (despite interviewing and attaining the job) a new routine that I made myself sick or made excuses not to commence working; to the point where the Boss would have no choice other than to 'give up' on me.

The one thing that i do know about mental health is that it takes a lot of time, can be extremely mis-understood and different things work for different people. There is no magic antibiotic or quick fix treatment to heal someone who has a Mental health issue.
The fact that the media is making a 'joke' of people who have asked to take days off for depression, anxiety or stress is disgusting, and will only work to make people keep their thoughts to themselves in fear of being ridiculed, looked down on by thei work-place or potentially losing their job.
Obviously there are a few exceptions to this rule in some people who unfortunately push this and take days REGULARLY to go shopping, holidaying or because they simply do not want  to go to work (I do get that Monday-itis hurts and occasional mental health days are needed to remain productive when you  are  at work), but for those who are really struggling with mental health issues - the thing that will get them through is support and NOT condescension.
 
Society - note to self - listen to the messages you  are sending to the people. Words and actions are very powerful and do effect people more than you realize.
It is time we stop sending mixed messages about how it feels and how to cope with a Mental health issue. We are starting to see some high profile Sports stars and celebrities reveal their own battles, and the industries they  are in have often repeated the same message of support - which sometimes cannot be done any other way than giving them the space and time they need.

Let's start helping and building awareness, not accusing people of having an illness and it's associated symptoms (and life impact) that 'doesn't count'.

Law of attraction and synchronicity..... how they exist in my life.

Recently I was reading an article on 'the law of attraction' and 'synchronicity'. They both are quite similar and are based upon the idea whatever you do/feel/act/think is attracted to you and your surrounds.
In short - if you have had a bad few days and all you can think of and talk about is all the negative things that  are happening to you, negative things tend to continue to happen to you. It is only when you open yourself up to the positive things that you begin to notice the erray of possibility around you.

Synchronicity goes onto say that you attract people and things who are like-minded to you, or can teach you something that you need at this point in time. An example of this might be the tough situation or break up you have recently had with a loved one. In the coming days, something or someone will come into your life to replace that 'lost' or 'broken' feeling and teach you or show you (sometimes subtly or in a way that we do not realize this until quite a while later) out of that tough point in your life.

I know - this can sound sometimes like a big load of 'spiritual guru word-smithing' - take what you will from this, but in reflecting on things that have happened to me in the past, I would have to say that there is certainly some truth to it.

A few examples from my life....
About ten years ago when I was at one of the lowest points in my life, I was suffering from a severe bout of depression, anxiety and subsequently an eating disorder. I was on the brink of being hospitalized multiple times, I had caused my family and close friends many tears and painful memories and a whole chunk of my so-called 'prime' late teen/early twenty years were a vague blur of hurt, anger, frustration, anxiety and medical appointments. I was unable to enjoy the things most  17-19year old's would; Year 12, exams, post exam parties, socializing, final high school year celebrations, driving friends around on my 'P plate' drivers license or even the simple things like having a friend who I could converse with or laugh with.
One winters day, our family went on it's usual holiday up to a small country town 'Bright' to stay in our wooden cottage house. I vividly remember fighting with my family non stop and seeing my own parents in tears at the 'thing' that was living with them inside my body - Mum still remembers picking me up with one hand after I was inconsolable on the drive-way one night...at a mere 34kg for my 168cm frame.
At about 9pm, I was sitting looking outside the window and a white owl purched itself on the window ledge. I had never seen an owl - they are quite rare, particularly a white owl. I still remember how it seemed to stare deep into my eyes and reach my soul.
From the next day - it was as if a renewed sense of strength was given to me and set me on a path to healing.

When we got back to school on the Monday after that weeekend, a Teacher approached me and we had a long discussion about how things were going for me and how he supported and loved me (in a non-relationship way) and was genuinely concerned for me.
That same day, a friend of mine who I was close with early in Primary school approached me and we had a similar conversation - this time with tears of support and care welling up in his eyes.
A week later, my Aunty shared with me her experiences of depression and Bulimia and how it was possible to over-come no matter how deeply buried our souls may be. Just knowing that someone had been able to feel the agony and sense of entrapment that I was feeling built my strength even more.

My soul had been touched - after that owl, it was ready to heal itself...at least begin the long road to recovery.
 
About 5 years ago when my Boyfriend of 3 years left me to travel overseas, and I felt as if I was in a job which I hated - my behavior and metal health was going in a downward spiral to the point where I was verging on the point of losing control. Until I saw that same owl sitting on the fence one afternoon at work when I was about to burst into tears at the sense of helplessness I was feeling.
I immediately grew in confidence that 'things were going to be okay'. 3 months later - I went traveling the world myself, starting a new job, had re-kindles a few old friendships and was soon to meet the man I now call my Fiancee.

I still believe that it was both synchronicity and 'the law of attraction' which worked in both of those situations (and many more when I really 'ponder' my past).
It was the situation and experience I was going through that drew the things I  needed to learn and grow most to get to where i wanted to be. And - it was the changing thought process that 'things were going to be ok' that lead me to start seeing and believing good things were just around the corner.

I challenge you to take a moment to think about these ideas and see whether they resonate within you. can you think of a time or several times where synchronicity or  the law of attraction were at play?

Xxx

Stress - how to make it bearable, before you break down!

I was sitting at home two days ago with a pile of study and assignments in front of me and laptop when I started to get a pain that ran through my entire body.
Suddenly my head was throbbing, my back was aching from the very top of my neck to the bottom of my coccyx bone (including all of the muscles however big or small attached to it), my stomach was aching and a wave of nausea flushed over me. I took a breath and noticed that my shoulders were creeping up towards my ears, my neck was so tight that it looked like I had no neck (or I  had been playing rugby for the last twenty years and had taken growth hormone to become 'thicker' than the average 'rugby' bear!). I rubbed my eyes but it just made them more blurry - at that point I stepped away from the desk and sat outside in the fresh morning air to get my grip back on the world!
                            
After ten minutes I came back to my little desk space at the end of the large dark stained timber table where my pile of mess lay awaiting my return. I started reading over my notes. My focus then waned for a brief period where I took an out of body experience and saw myself from an outsiders perspective. At that point, I sat there with my earphones in listening to audio lectures, reading old assignments for reference to add to my current assignments, answering the questions to a test i was doing and taking interest in the questions my fiancee and step son were firing at me from the other side of the room.

I am a female - and us brilliant females are generally able to multi-task but it  just dawned on me how intense I had made my life out to be of recent times. At this current point in time - I am in the process of finishing off three different qualifications (Personal Trainer, Wellness Coach and Pilates Instructor), while my newest venture; Health Coach had started to send me through introduction tasks and readings. I was in the early stages of planning a wedding (which to me - seemed to be the busiest as I haven't booked a thing, but had a million different ideas and people offering help around me!), I was trying to work on my business development (keeping my blogs up to date, working on my marketing, online presence and content development), trying to be present to my beautiful family and friends (sorry Tim for the several nights of tears and anxiety over the last couple of weeks!!!), waking at 5am to get my favorite 'me time' routine done either running, Pilates or swimming and thinking of the looming school exam marking and reports over the next few weeks.

By this stage, it is safe to say (and often we don't realize how intense things are for us until we say it aloud or write it down), that my body and brain had noticed before my sense of perspective had - I was getting over-whelmed - BIG TIME!!!

Stress can do some pretty vicious things to our bodies and I was at the stage where I was feeling well on the path to a burnout; headaches, nausea, sore muscles, fatigue, anxiety, loss of libido, losing interest in the things I usually jump out of bed to do, taking days off work and feeling like I just needed to run away from the world to hide away from everything that was 'calling me'.

Sometimes it takes something drastic to happen or our bodies to start breaking down before we take action to try and help ourselves. Stress can increase your risk of many diseases, illness' and not to mention your enjoyment of life - which can be a tipping point for a whole other bucket of illness'.

The last thing you want to do is ruin the amazing things you have in your life (relationships, careers, interests, passions etc), because 'little miss perfect' wants to do everything at once!!

So - I thought I'd share a few helpful tips and things that you can do (even if it is only one of these each day to try and give your brain and body the time it needs to repair, relax, rejuvenate and learn how to 're-think' in a much more productive way.

I started yesterday with 30 minutes of yoga (thank you you-tube) with my windows and curtains wide open to the outside blue sky and flowers, read my book for 20 minutes and had a Cup of green tea. I felt like I had just had a massage for three hours, my limbs were lighter, my head was clear and I started to notice the things around me that I hadn't taken any notice of for the last week because I was so tuned into my own thoughts and 'to-do list'. So - proven (by millions) - here are a few things to try.....

1. Try progressive relaxation. All the way from fingers to toes—tense and then release each muscle group in the body (lower arm, upper arm, chest, back and abdominals, etc.). Once the body is relaxed, the mind will be soon to follow  !

2. Try some light yoga. The combination of deep breathing techniques and poses makes this activity  work to reduce stress, too .

3. Meditate.
The “mental silence” that goes along with meditate (try the smiling mind app or download one of the million Youtube clips) may have a positive effect on stress (especially work-related stress)   .

4. Breathe deep. Taking a deep breath has been shown to lower cortisol levels, which can help reduce stress and anxiety. Studies suggest deep breathing can also cause a temporary drop in blood pressure. Try breathing in for three counts through your nose and exhaling for three counts with a big puff through your mouth.

5. Spray some scents. Studies suggest aromatherapy can be a good way to relieve stress. Certain aromas (like lavender) have been consistently shown to reduce stress levels  .

6. Listen to music. 
Research points to multiple ways in which music can help relieve stress, from triggering biochemical stress reducers to assisting in treating stress associated with medical procedures   .

7. Laugh it off. 
Laughter can reduce the physical effects of stress (like fatigue) on the body    .

8. Drink tea. One study found that drinking black tea leads to lower post-stress cortisol levels and greater feelings of relaxation  .

9. Exercise. That post-exercise endorphin rush is one way to sharply cut stress.

10. Try guided visualization. 
Visualizing a calm or peaceful scene may help reduce stress and ease anxiety .

11. Chew gum. Studies suggest the act of chewing gum can reduce cortisol levels, helping to alleviate stress  .

12. Get a massage. Getting a good ol’ rub down may do more than alleviate physical pain. Studies suggest massage may also be beneficial for fighting stress. It may also help improve body image  .

13. Try self-hypnosis.
Research suggests hypnosis can help reduce anxiety. Plus, it’s a great self-mediated technique for stress-relief   .

14. Talk About sex, Baby.
Studies sex can actually decrease the physical symptoms of stress, like lowering blood pressure.

15. Take a nap.
Napping (for 20-30minutes at the most) has been shown to reduce cortisol levels, which aids in stress relief   .

16. Hug it out.
Hugging may actually reduce blood pressure and stress in adults  .

17. Hang with your pet.
Or, as we’ve put it before, just get a dog. Dog owners have been shown to be less stressed out—most likely thanks to having a buddy to cuddle  .

18. Do an art project.
Art therapy can potentially reduce stress related behavior and symptoms  .

19. Write it out.
Keeping a journal may be one way to effectively relieve stress-related symptoms due to its meditative and reflective effects. A gratitude journal can really help us put things in perspective, so pick a time every day to write down a few things that make you happy.

20. Take a walk.
A quiet stroll outside can do wonders for stress relief, especially when we step outdoors. Try not to rush, and take whatever pace feels most natural.

21. Kiss someone! Research has shown that kissing releases chemicals that ease hormones associated with stress, like cortisol. Forming positive relationships is also a key way to help reduce stress and anxiety.