15 things that you need to STOP doing to make yourself HAPPY :-)

Here is a list of 15 things that, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress, and suffering — and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress-free and happy — we cling to them.

Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right.

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong — wanting to always be right — even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the "urgent" need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question from Dr. Wayne Dyer: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control.

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you — situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street, just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and see how much better you feel.

3. Give up on blame.

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk.

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted, and repetitive self-defeating mindsets? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you — especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that. As author Eckhart Tolle says, “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.”

5. Give up your limiting beliefs.

Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do and about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

6. Give up complaining.

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, many things that make you unhappy. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism.

Give up your need to criticize people who are different from you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy. We all want to love and be loved. We all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others.

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard — the moment you take off all your masks and accept and embrace the real you — is the moment people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change.

Change is good. Change will help you make improvements in your life and the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss and embrace change — don’t resist it.

10. Give up labels.

Stop labelling those things, people, or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

11. Give up on your fears.

Fear is just an illusion; It doesn’t exist — you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. Franklin D. Roosevelt was right when he said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

12. Give up your excuses.

A lot of times we limit ourselves with the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves with all kind of excuses — excuses that 99.9 percent of the time are not even real. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them.

13. Give up the past.

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a journey, not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future and prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment.

This is a concept that is hard for most of us to grasp (and I have to tell you that it still is for me, too), but it’s not impossible. It will become easier and easier with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all possessions, you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene.

That's not to say you must give up your love for everything, because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another. Attachment comes from a place of fear, while love … well, real love is pure, kind, and selfless. Where there is love there can’t be fear, so attachment and love cannot coexist.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies, their teachers, their government, and their media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voices. They are so busy pleasing everybody that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need … and eventually they forget about themselves.

You have one life — this one right now — you must live it, own it. Don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

(Luminita Daniela Saviuc)

How to achieve your goals before being paralysed by burnout or 'self control fatigue'!

Whether it's New Year's resolutions or any other milestone we want to achieve, most of us give up on that career goal, diet, mindfulness practice, or exercise regimen we committed to however long ago. All too often, our efforts fail, and we find ourselves unable to detach our backsides from the sofa and our hands from the chocolate.

There’s a scientific reason for this. You’ve basically got self-control fatigue. The good news, however, is that research also shows that keeping your resolution doesn’t have to be hard.

In a classic study by willpower psychologist Roy Baumeister, researchers baked chocolate chip cookies, filling their lab with a wonderful aroma. They then brought in research participants. Some participants were invited to eat the chocolate chip cookies and a bowl of chocolates laid out before them. Others were invited into the same delicious-smelling lab but told to eat the unappealing brussel sprout that were displayed right next to tempting choc-chip cookies and that delectable mars bar!

Then both groups were given an exercise: to work on a puzzle that was, unbeknownst to them, unsolvable. The researchers found that participants who had exerted self-control by eating radishes and avoiding the tempting cookies and chocolates gave up trying to solve the puzzle much more quickly than those who had eaten the chocolates (or a control group that had not been shown the chocolates or radishes).

Why is this? Self-control actually exhausts us, it’s a limited resource like gasoline or the charge on your cellphone. The more you use it, the less you have it. Researchers have found that it actually uses up your blood sugar. Ever wondered why you are more likely to binge on ice cream at night? Self-control literally gets depleted as the day goes on

After all, we are using self-control all day long at work.

From dawn to dusk we do our best to:

1. Control our impulses.

This could mean staying on task as opposed to giving up or giving way to distractions (like checking Facebook) or temptations (like leaving work early to meet friends).

2. Control our performance.

This means persisting and giving your best despite feeling tired.

3. Control our behaviour and emotions.

This could be maintaining a professional tone and demeanor even when the work atmosphere is unpleasant or your colleagues or managers make decisions you do not agree with.

4. Control our thoughts.

We fight to focus on our work despite the many daydreams, thoughts, and fantasies that pop into our minds.

Here’s how to stop letting willpower fatigue get the best of you.

1. Remember, the morning is golden.

Self-control is stronger In the morning since you've had all night to replenish it. What does this mean?

If you are resolving to exercise more, do it in the morning.

If you are trying to stick to a diet, make your meals for the day, and make sure you throw everything that's not on your diet out of the house.

If your goal is to write a book or finish a huge work project (or do your taxes early for once!), set aside the first hours of the day to do so.

2. Manage your energy by staying calmer.

Staying calm makes you powerful. Research shows that Americans prefer “high-intensity” emotions like excitement, or even stress. Think about it: people drink coffee and wait until the last minute to do things because they depend on adrenaline to get their work done. The consequence of both excitement and stress, however, is that they fatigue the body. And the more tired you are, the less self-control you have. So, you need to manage your energy.

You plug your cellphone in to charge it: Do the same thing with yourself. In particular, participate in activities that help you stay calm so you won’t get depleted so fast: yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises. Do this even if it means taking a break in the middle of the workday. Why? Research shows that when you do something liked meditation or prayer — even for a short while — it can fill your self-control tank back up.

3. Relax in other areas of your life.

Don’t make too many resolutions or try to exert self-control in too many new areas of your life at once. Keep things easy and relaxed in some domains (e.g., let the house be messy) so you're not draining yourself by employing self-control in every aspect of your life and at all times of the day. Choose where self-control is important (e.g., at work) and give yourself some slack in the rest of your life.

4. Focus on the end goal.

When you are working on things you really want to be working on, you are less likely to become depleted. If you remember what the end goal of your resolution is — presumably — something you want, you can muster up the energy it takes to exert that self-control.

By following these tips, you’ll see that it is possible to keep you resolutions, to have more willpower, and to achieve your goals. So go ahead and make the most of those mornings, stay chill, cut yourself some slack, and keep your eyes on the prize.

Busy - but not overwhelmed - coping when times can feel 'too much'.

For the past few months, I’ve felt busy.

Busy in the sense that I feel out of control. I set my alarm for 5am just so I can get everything I feel that I need to do in the day done.

I wake up during the night thinking of the list of things that I have to do over the coming week, or something that I said I would do yesterday but forgot.

I feel that I spend my precious time with family or friends feeling ‘on edge’ thinking about the things I should be doing instead or the time I am away from my computer NOT doing work or things that I feel are giving my time a sense of ‘stature or achievement’.

I feel busy when I’m meditating or doing my power flow vinyasa next to the window of my large, white (but messy) bedroom.

I feel like I don’t have time to do the washing, unpack my bags, hang the washing out, clean the car, do the groceries, stop for coffee, finish my work deadlines, pick up my step son from school, go for an afternoon run, cook healthy wholesome foods and start working on my next project (which – I am actually hanging to do, I am too busy to be passionate!).

That was me last year…..and if I’m honest – me when life sometimes gets on top of me, which thankfully, isn’t anywhere near as often as it used to!

Somewhere along the lines of the past few months, I feel as if my being has transformed. My focus has narrowed.

My day isn’t centred around what to do next or what I didn’t do yesterday – but rather a feeling of what is around me now and what I would like to do in this present moment.

My head isn’t over-run by a crazy little witch screeching “Agh you stupid woman – you don’t have time for this. This won’t help you be a success. You are not achieving anything here. You should be doing……..”.

I have clarity. I feel as if everything is happening as it should – and if those things that I planned to be happening are not, then it either will unfold in due course, OR I focus without anxiety or tension on the next way to turn.

I wake up with purpose, knowing that I am LIVING my life. Not letting each day pass as if it’s a sprint race, and feeling as if I haven’t had water or sustenance for years – I have energy!

My headaches, re-occuring sore throat and ‘non-present personality’ seemingly do not even exist.

I feel as if I have completed some sort of detox and lived on abundant amounts of fresh vegetable juices and swam in the clearest salt waters of a spa retreat.

The key to this change?

Being aware of my own thoughts, my own ‘internally-created’ limitations and fears and realising that they are nothing more than an emotional response.

Now that I have learnt to recognise my patterns – and let me tell you, this did NOT happen after reading a couple of novels by academics in the area of mindfulness, but it took practise and support.

I make decisions and do not let things manifest to the point of tears every two weeks (much to the detriment and confusion of my fiancée!).

I run because I love to run and soak in the fresh morning air, not because I am running away from me.

I feel full of energy – because I don’t have to argue and face the questioning and argumentative ‘should-er’ inside my head.

I live my moments, each and every one of them because I choose to – I let them and let myself see the amazing parts of them.

Learn to have a relationship with yourself again.

Gain your energy back to that teenage girl you used to be who stayed up throughout the night only to wake up and bounce around the shopping malls or lecture theatre the next day.

Discover how to give yourself more time in the day; doing less, but achieving MORE and have time to do the things that matter most to YOU.

Let’s chat – you aren’t alone and there IS a path back to sanity, exuberance, strength and vitality, I can show you.

hello@thewelllifeproject.com

www.thewelllifeproject-you.com

Ashlee is a highly effective and successful health, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach, who oozes positivity and warmth. She has worked with a variety of clients (Check out the testimonials page on her website) and has seen great success from even the most unsuspecting women.

Ocean Soul Retreats - Our interview; what makes them DEVINE!!

For anyone who has ever been on a beautiful health and fitness retreat or has stared dreamingly out of their office window with the thought that ‘one day I’d love to break out of my career and into a beautiful and magical Balinese beach retreat – this girl has done it!!

For those who haven’t heard, Georgie from Ocean Soul Retreat is the very talented, inspiring and proud founder of this boutique and very popular health & fitness retreat.

She is FULL of energy, but holds a warm and calm vibe about her, despite her very busy work schedule – so listen in ladies, and meet our gorgeous Georgie.

Prepare to be inspired by her thoughts on health, wellness and how to live your BEST life!!

                                               

   Tell us a little bit about what your business is about.

Ocean Soul Retreat is a wellness experience that helps women get back to themselves.  We facilitate a program that combines elements to connect the mind, body and soul.  We do this through nutrition, holistic therapies, fitness activities - surfing, yoga, massage and a series of informative talks.

    How did you get to where you are right now?

 It was a series of events that pushed me into where I am now.  Firstly, It took for me getting sick to really understand the connection between health and wellbeing and the correlation of food being the best medicine.  Secondly, I found myself at a point in my life where I was not clear in my direction and exactly where I wanted to be.  I was in the process of exploring and looking for change.  Through this time, I found myself in Bali and ended up working at a retreat, which combined most of the elements I love.  After that experience, I then tried to pursue work back in a 9-5 scenario and my heart wasn’t in it.  I sat down and mapped out all the elements that I found to be helpful in getting my mind clear and then started putting the business plan together.

    How would you define ‘good health’? 

Good health to me is defined by balance. Balance with food, exercise, family time, friends and work.

   What comes to mind when you think about ‘living with PASSION and PURPOSE’? And how do you do this in your days?

To follow your heart and pursue your dreams! For me, that is what I am doing – it’s pursuing my own business, creating experiences to assist people to reconnect to their true essence.

    What does a day in the life of you look like?

Ha!  Well I start my morning with a hot lemon water and a gentle stretch followed by  my first round of social media!  My days revolve around my laptop and my phone, which leaves me to be location independent – which is great!  Depending on where I am at the time, I usually head to a yoga class and if I am near the water, I go for a surf or beach walk or if I am at the farm, I love to go for a horse ride.

                                               

    What is most important and valuable to you?

My health, friends and family!

    What is your biggest obstacle/hurdle/challenge that you have been through and how did you over-come this?

The biggest hurdle has been having the confidence to back myself 100%.  It is a constant process of learning to trust yourself and to give it everything you have.

    What’s next on the cards for you (and your business)?

Next, is just really focusing on refining our service and really tuning into the retreat experience – I’m really looking forward to the retreat season in 2016!

    What has been your biggest achievement so far?

Starting this business!

  What is the best advice you could give to women wanting to live their BEST life?

Go ahead and do it, start, everything that you have wanted to do – write it down and put a plan into action to make it happen!

                                             

Email Ocean Soul directly for a gift voucher to be redeemed on a retreat in 2016! – info@oceansoulretreat.com

It’s definitely worth checking out their web page and social media for more information on upcoming retreats and health, wellbeing & fitness related resources -

www.oceansoulretreat.com - Check out their weekly blog!

Facebook – Ocean Soul Retreat

@oceansoulretreat.com

Pinterest - @Ocean_Souls

Twitter - @Ocean_Souls

THANK YOU so very much – keep doing the amazing work that you are, you are definitely inspiring and 'a saviour' for a lot of people out there!!

Ash Chatfield (The Well Life Project).