How to acknowledge your thoughts and let it go - the key to mindfulness...

Over the past few weeks I've learnt quite a lot about myself.
It's amazing how many questions run through your mind when making a major change to your life as well having a little bit of extra time to 'over-think', 'over-analyse' and 'over-critique' everything that you are.

Having time to yourself, alone with your thoughts can be incredibly beneficial. Making sure that you do take time away from everything and everyone else is an important part of learning who you are, what you want, what your interest and passions are, which direction you want to go in your life and what you NEED.

The only trick is to not look at things too deeply - otherwise you will almost definitely fall into the trap of 'crazy brain' looking way too deeply into the reason behind everything that could, will and has happened to you. Although reflection is a necessary part in being able to move forward to bigger and better things in life, too much of it can be detrimental and lead you into negativity.
For most of us, over the years and experiences that make up our life we have learnt to instinctively 'protect' ourselves against anything that could harm us.
This harm may be mentally, physically, emotionally, socially....whatever it may be - the human being has developed such powerful protection mechanisms that we often let negativity take over before positivity even has time to assemble itself.
This doesn't mean you always think the worst of every situation, but it is very easy to let our inner fears take hold of our days and prevent us from trusting ourselves to rise to the challenges of our desires.
This negativity, when left to seep out for too long can turn into what our mind conceives as pain. Although this pain can come in any shape or form (virtually anything that doesn't give us instant gratification e.g laughing or love), our mind perceives it as a threat and our thoughts spiral downward.

I am a poster model for this detrimental over-thinking. I admit it - although I am an introvert by every stretch of the definition, I do love having time to myself to reflect, consolidate and think about things, but if left for too long I know how easily it can stem into a whole bucket (or Santa sack big enough to bring joyful presents to every child around the world!!) of negative thoughts which usually get internalised.......which usually then turn into negativity and anxiety around things that were never even linked to what the initial thought or issue was!!

I found myself this morning after driving 30minutes to my Sunday Pilates and strength training class, then returning home after it - I started to think about things (and I guess the fact that I was running on one soy latte for the first 3 hours of the morning may have added to the 'negativity thinking'!!).
The last few days I have been on such a high horse having finally figured out what I want to do with my life - hallelujah - and finally being able to let my thoughts simply be acknowledged without having to analyse each one (until you learn to do this, it is hard to fathom how free your soul feels!).

However when one or two thoughts held on to my mind for too long....they started to develop into other things. For years, my self confidence is the first thing that dissolves at a rate faster than a bath bomb in hot water when I over-think things.
When I plan  goal related to my passions, my initial excitement is HUGE! The trick is, I usually have to dive into the goal straight away before it gets time to think about things too deeply and my mind responds by second guessing itself that I can follow through with it.

My internalisation responded by telling my mind that I couldn't do it, that I didn't have the skills, I wasn't 'loud or extraverted' enough, I didn't have enough experience, other people didn't have the same confidence in my goals and questioned me.....these continued to grow into 'I'm not good enough', I don't look as pretty as the other girls in the industry I want to move into, I can't speak as clearly and confidently or as bubbly and infectious as the others in my industry - all when asked for evidence could not stand their ground but still ......the thoughts were strong enough to over-take my passions and leave me feeling like a small child that has been sent to their bedroom for being naughty.

My point is - to beat this, there is one very simple solution.
Elkhart Tolle speaks about a profound moment her had on his 29th birthday years ago. After battling years of depression and anxiety, he found himself in a state of complete helplessness and said to himself "I can't live with myself anymore". Something happened in that brief moment, and he had an epiphany - it was like he had two people inside his head. "I and myself"......he realised that he was living in his body with something else very powerful that had taken over himself - his mind. From that day on, Eckhart Tolle played with the idea that his mind perceived thoughts as threats. His depression and anxiety (and over-thinking) had built up so strongly that perceived everything as pain. His mind instantly turned thoughts into 'pain'.
The change that he learnt to make was to recognise that thoughts are simply an emotion as a reaction to a situation. They don't necessarily mean pain, but once you simply acknowledge that emotion - don't try and micro-manage it or fight it - just let it be.
Living in the moment and simply experiencing human emotion as it is, is the most effective and beneficial technique I have ever learnt in stopping my over-thinking.

We as a fast paced society are so used to being stressed, trying to organise, plan, analyse, reflect, and respond to the things that are around us, that we have all forgotten how to simply let things happen.

Life goes on no matter how your mind wants to respond to it, and let me tell you, it is so much less fatiguing to let the tight chest and tense forehead go as you keep this in mind. You don't have to have an answer or reaction to everything. Just let it be, acknowledge it, don't try and change it or fight it - just let it be, accept it and move on to the next moment.

A word you may all be familiar with is mindfulness - what an amazing concept!!

Why you NEED to go on a 'Self love expedition' and HOW to do it...

Sometimes we get a niggling feeling as if we are uncomfortable with something. Not uncomfortable in the sense that we are challenging ourselves to do the things we always wished we had, but uncomfortable in the theme that we are going through our days without a sense of fulfilment; feeling as if we are simply going through the motions but not getting anything back for our souls.

This can sometimes occur through years of trying to please others, or make sure that those around us are happy and living a life they enjoy (which is incredibly common in the female population when family comes into play!), rather than putting ourselves first or at least an important priority in our everyday habits or activities.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a place that we used to love to bits, but in recent times are finding it no longer serves it’s purpose in what we want or need in life.

Sometimes we simply do things because we feel that we SHOULD, it’s an expectation from society or our friendship circle that we follow suit in their own interests or desires (another very common reason particularly in the career area of many).

What’s wrong with this mindset of ‘just going through the motions’, but feeling ‘uncomfortable’, unfulfilled or uninspired? The problem is that you are not putting YOURSELF into your life. Chances are that if you continue down this path you will end up regretting decisions or choices you made years ago, you will resent those around you who you love but feel that they are a reason for you not living your dreams and you will end up feeling depressed, stuck and in many ways ‘lost’ in the life you are living – without purpose, passion or happiness.

So – how can we get ourselves out of this uncomfortable feeling to make sure that we leave this life satisfied, content and as if we have lived out every moment of our desires without regret or resentment?

1)    Put yourself into your life.

What’s important to you?

What do you value most?

List 5 people who you admire. What qualities do they have that show you they love themselves?

What 3 things can you do today to SHOW-UP more for yourself?

2)    Befriend yourself.

Forgive yourself for any past mistakes you have made; maybe you blame yourself for something that happened in the past, maybe you have no belief in your ability to do the things you really want to or maybe you have ‘self sabotaged’ by deliberately doing things that prevent you from getting to where you desire.

3)    Go on a ‘self love expedition’.

Shannon Kaiser speaks of using the following words to help guide you through this: Experience, persistence & letting go of what no longer serves you.

Experience – What are the self sacrificing habits that are holding you back? What have doing these habits cost you in the past? What are 3 self love habits you can start or continue?

Persistence – Practice doing these self love habits and going through this process regularly. Like anything, the more your practise it the easier and more automatic it will become. After a while, rather than listening to what your head tells you to do you can be a lot more receptive of the direction your heart and inner self is trying to guide you in.

Let go of what no longer serves you – What habits are you holding onto that you no longer enjoy? What habits are you participating in that no longer serves its purpose like it may have once done?

4)    Have a go at playing a game of TRUTH or DARE with yourself!

Truth –

What things did you LOVE doing as a child?

When were you HAPPIEST as a child?

What did you want to be when you ‘grew up’?

What 5 qualities did you express most as a child?

Dare –

What are 5 things that you have always wanted to do but were too scared? (Ha – tough one to commit yourself to I know, but give it a try!!).

You can repeat this process as often as you like, or even make it a ‘new year’ goal setting and ‘direction finding’ process to keep you on track to continue down your own path of ‘self’. Each time you start to feel uncomfortable in the situation you are currently in, it’s an incredibly ideal time to restart this ‘self love expedition’ again.

Again in the words of the very thought provoking Shannon Kaiser – “I trust my heart, it knows what my head is yet to figure out”.

How to identify your fears and remove them from your life...

Getting yourself through times of difficulty, challenge, uncertainty and major life changes takes many things.
It often takes courage - to be able to listen to what your heart pains to do. To make any big decision or choice in life, no matter how big or small will have positives and negatives. There will never be an instant blunt 'answer' to any decision.
The one thing you can do is learn how to appropriately deal with your own fears, which is not an easy feat, to see past the things that are holding you back (usually that over-thinking, deep analysing and procrastinating voice in your head trying to take over your inner guide) to getting where you truly desire.

Fear is a very real thing for most people. Actually - I take that back - fear is present in everyone. There are those who let their fears take over (whether it be through subconscious thoughts or proactive choices), usually never quite getting to feel the real passion and purpose in their lives, and there are those people who have learnt to use their inner compass; the ones who although can feel the full force of fear in their mind but have learnt to set them aside to challenge, dream and live their lives through self expression, happiness, fulfilment and heart.

According to the very talented author Shannon Kaiser (Adventures for the soul), most people develop inner sense of fear through things that happened to them during childhood or experiences they have been through in their lifetime.
The human body and soul is an extremely 'sponge-like' thing - it soaks up (whether we realise it or not...which often makes it harder to understand or address) all of our environment, the reactions of others and the results or outcomes that we get as we go through the bucket loads of life (whether it be career, fitness, friendship, relationships, love, goal setting......anything!). How we interpret these situations is so important in being able to gain anything from them.
As life has it - we will fail. There is no question. Nobody is a perfectly sublime and unable to fail at EVERYTHING - though, it would be bloody great this were true!! Being able to learn and read these mistakes, losses and perhaps sometimes negative moments in our lives is the key to being able to over-come them so that we can reach our goals in the future without being hindered by sour memories of our past.

The top ten fearful thought processes (Shannon Kaiser) that we as the human race feel and are often guided by are as follows:

1) Fear failure - A fear that if you try something new and unexplored then you will lose in some way.

2) Fear of the unknown - Not being able to control your situation, going into new territory in work, love, environment, living circumstances is a super scary thing. If we have never been through this specific change before, how will we know how to respond to it or the challenges (or positives) that it may bring?

3) Fear of not having enough - Fear of being short money, food, friendships...which can cause us to be somewhat sneaky and go into a panic thinking that there is going to be a shortage in some important component of our lives.

4) Fear of change - It's scary to know that whatever your desired action or dream is will require you to potentially change up your routines, do things different to how you normally would, become more flexible. Being slightly similar to fear of the unknown, changing ourselves to be out of our 'daily usuals' and into a new comfort zone can be difficult for many of us.

5) Fear of shame or judgement - A very real fear for many is that they will be judged for making a change. Quite often this is related to career; when working in a high profile corporate position that no longer serves us is difficult for us to leave in fear of what others think, or leaving a relationship that is no longer satisfying our needs is something that does not sit well with others around us. Others opinions can impact us more than we realise.

6) Fear of intimacy or loss of freedom - A fear that often prevents us form becoming close enough to the people in our lives because we feel that if we get too close, we will lose some of ourselves and not be abe to do the things we used to do.

7) Fear of being alone - A very common fear in people who find it hard to move out of relationships that are no longer 'connected' or 'working' in case there is nobody else out there who will love them. It could even be a fear of being alone from friends, to the point that we never give ourselves time to be comfortable with ourselves - as we're always around others.

8) Fear of rejection - A fear that you will be rejected for the opinions you have, the thoughts, actions or desires you grow inside you so you keep quiet around others and never feel that you can express yourself as the person you are.

9) A fear of dyeing or losing others we care about - A fear that often develops as a sense of over-protectiveness and control of others around us in case they no longer are with us.

10) A fear of inadequacy - That fear that you are never good enough. This can often lead us to never reaching our full potential because we are always worried about not being able to achieve the things we want, that others are more deserving than us in roles we might deeply want but not reach out for or share with others. Often this also leads to a feeling of being 'stuck'.

So how in the world do we move past these fears and stop them from over-riding our heart EVERY time??? It's time for a 'fear detox' (Adventures for the soul).

1) Write down the three fears you relate to most out of the above list.
2) Identify the COST of of each of these above fears in your life, and then write down the BENEFIT. Think about how believing in this fear over time has helped you cope with painful situations. Did it serve you or make things more difficult or more 'locked in'?
3) Try to figure out where in your childhood you developed this fear? (e.g What happened in your childhood where you did;t feel accepted?).

Then - it's time for forgiveness. Think about all those people who were involved in making that fear a part of your thoughts. Perhaps someone hurt you in the past - give them an 'emotional hug', and know that for whatever reason the fear provoking situation happened to you, it was a learning process.

Now that you are aware of the thinking behind many of your actions - you can be much more aware of them. Simply acknowledging and looking out for any thoughts that may start to take over your decisions and choices in the future can make a huge difference in your ability to be able to change it and move beyond your fears next time.
It will open up your heart to lead you towards where it really wants to be, rather than always letting your head take over with often limiting answers.

Fear - be gone!!

How comparison became a dirty word...

Over many years of my life, and I know in saying this that I am only one of SOOO many people out there with the same storey - I have let comparison take hold of my life.

Whether it is at a conscious or subconscious level, I compare myself to everything.
Each time I walk down the street, and I'm sure being a woman it sadly comes naturally to us particularly around other women - I am looking at what people where, how their hair looks, what the of job they have, the car they drive, their friends, their boyfriend or partner, the food they are eating, the way they walk, do they look happy or not......it really is endless.

It leaves you feeling as if you are nothing short of someone who really needs to get their shit together and do something better with their lives.

It's funny - it doesn't mater how great your life is, the achievements you've made over the years, how many things are yet to come for us - we are always comparing our own lives with that of others. Nine times out of ten, this just brings a negative light to our own lives and we leave feeling shameful, guilty, dissatisfied and like we're missing out on something.

The thing about comparison, is that it not only happens in response to others, but it also takes over our thoughts when we compare our current self with our 'past' self, as well as our current situation.

We often get so caught up in making our life 'the best' that it can possibly be. The thing is, this BEST is ALWAYS going to change. You are going to have different priorities, want different things, be in different situations, have things in your life that are no longer serving you to feel positive energy from anymore. Life happens! For us to have an idea of how SHOULD be living according to an ideal that we thought up going through high school, as soon as we finished that university or diploma course, as soon as we leave a job we no longer enjoy - we are always going to be trying to live up to our 'should' expectations, rather than what we want or need at this present point in time.

I left my profession, for which I studied at university level for four years, worked in for 6.5 years. At the time of leaving, I knew that I was well and truly ready to leave and open a new chapter in my life doing something that excited me and fuelled my passions rather than leave me dreading each and every day. After some time away, I found myself in a storm of changing thoughts, both rational and irrational. I've gone from feeling excited to sheer panic, from bouncing around and clarity to tears and  guilt.
What I only now realise, is that although I was researching my chosen field to try and make my new business stand out - I was comparing myself with everyone else. I have spent waaaaaay too much time on social media trawling through websites of some others and getting advice from those around me. The thing is - everyone is so different. Everyone has their own storey of how they got where they are, why they are doing what they do, why they have the opinion that they have and why they are the person they are.
By trying to compare and create a new exciting chapter and brand of my new business by constantly scrutinising others, I've made a giant ideal in my mind that for one is so incredibly overwhelming, and two is THEIR brand.
I can't even count the amount of tears, stomach aches and headaches I've had over trying to make this perfect. I've managed to turn this anxiety and frustration into more of an inward focus, where I started to blame myself for not being able to snap my fingers and become what I hoped (or what everyone else is doing). I started to squash all of my self confidence to the point that I felt totally unable to make any decisions. I started to look at my own insecurities of how I looked, whether I was fit, strong, healthy enough to do this job - I have to be perfect don't I for others to respond and want to listen to me or work with me?

"Just do YOU"!!

Having been a lover of all things health and fitness since as long as I can remember, I've gone through a few phases of chosen forms of exercise. I've been through years of triathlon training, which looking back now - served it's purpose completely. It was perfect in the point of my life where I had just come back from overseas, I needed a focus for all of my energies to keep me sane and not from 'freaking out' about needing to get another job or figure out what i wanted to do. It became my friend and companion after my boyfriend of 3 years left me, and it gave me a purpose for each day. I recently got into Pilates and do this along with my running and sometimes yoga. What I have noticed is that after a certain point of time, your body no longer enjoys or gets excited about doing a certain type of exercise. For many - they stick with what they think they SHOULD be doing (compared to either others they know of, or the person they were years ago), rather than what their body needs and wants. You will change - your body, mind and heart will want to take you in different directions throughout your life. The key is to learn to listen to it. Who needs a fight with themselves each morning to drag themselves along to a cross fit session they hate or a yoga class they don't crave anymore!!

So - how can we start to train ourselves to tune into what our body wants and needs? Think about the following:

1) Learn to catch comparison when it happens.
 Start to notice when you're looking at others, looking at their career/body/outfit/emotion, or when you start to notice that you're only doing things because you feel like you have to (I USED to be able to do it, why is it so hard? I hate this!). We love to have goals and dreams and believe me - there is a HUGE place for them in your life, but if your constantly looking around at what you don't have in your life, you will NEVER catch the brilliant, fantastic and energising things that are already there!!

2) Go inward.
Think about the feelings that the situation brings up for you. An example might be where you feel you have to do lots of heavy, sweaty, hard-core activity each day - think about yourself, is it because you're feeling insecure, unworthy or that something is wrong with you?

3) JUST DO YOU.
Start to connect to what you desire. What do you WANT out of life? What makes you happy? Why not create your own personal mission statement (much like a business mission statement or vision).

Comparison will NEVER serve you. It will only train your rain and inner 'over-thinker' to take over your actions and thoughts, rather than start to listen to your heart and what your inner most desires are.

Self belief.....the secret to living your dreams and HOW to find yours!

Self belief is something that one often finds very difficult to have.
As babies, we are born with no fear. We have never been exposed to negativity, we have no learned responses from any thought, action or behaviour we have been shown. We are willing to try anything (even place our tiny inquisitive toddler fingers near a boiling hot stove - unknowing dear devils at heart are we!!) without so much as a passing thought that we may be in danger either physically or mentally.

Then at some point in our lives, or maybe a gradual process - we learn to hold a protective shield on all of our thoughts, our actions and even our goals in life. We become timid in sharing our deepest thoughts or ideas or to try new things, knowing that we may become a victim of ridicule by others or have risk of failing.

This self belief is the thing that gets people from living a life where routine, daily tasks and 'same old, same old' become part of the norm to a life where they are able to bounce out of bed in excitement with a sense of fulfilment and anticipation of what the day ahead may bring.
People who have a strong sense of self belief are the ones who dare to be different. They dare to do the things that many of us only dream of. They break down barriers and 'ideas' that people should act a certain way, work certain jobs, reach certain milestones by certain stages in their lives.

The thing is, self belief is sadly becoming something that is hard to come by. Many people, and I admit I have been one of them, are too quick to listen to the opinions of others (which let me tell you,  may even be there result of something they wish they had done but never could, so venture out to tell others that they will not be able to either) and never quite get to the 'next stage' of their dreams and ideas.

In speaking to several girlfriends recently over coffee, I was astounded to hear that despite being a mixture of ages (ranging from 22 years to 59 years) - women in particular suffer almost unknowingly of a low level of self belief and self concept.

I became quite interested in the conversation that went on with one of the older women in the group. She spoke of coming from a background who she self nominated as 'poorer'. She married a lovely man who was from a 'rich' family and was a mainstream Australian television script writer for several mini series. She has two beautiful children, but used to feel a sense of 'hopelessness'.
Something that unfortunately becomes quite common in women who have had children or are in a long term relationships is that they can easily become so engrossed (which don't get me wrong, is NOT a bad thing) in the family, children and the household that they get to a point in their lives where they feel as if they have 'lost themselves'. The hobbies or interests which used to make them part of who they are, are not longer on their list of priorities. Of course, having a family is such an important, fulfilling and life changing milestone - but putting so much energy into making sure that everyone else around you is living their dreams can be quite self limiting. The women got to a stage where she felt that she was dyeing to go back to part time university study, as a means of proving to herself and her successful husband that she was intelligent and 'worthy'.

Another younger woman in the group was in an industry which is very male dominant. She was questioning the way to approach them in conversation, which is quite different from her usual bold, confident and direct personality. She was worried that as a woman, she had to 'tread carefully' and was not able to be her usual self to ensure that the men in her industry would not think any less of her or would see her as someone they respected highly.

I was in a situation recently where I found myself explaining and trying to convince others of my  recent career moves. I had worked hard and had many sleepless nights, coaching sessions and hours of research to ensure that the decision I had made was right for me. From the 'mental place' I was in a few months ago, feeling a sense of entrapment, unfulfilled, lost and 'stuck' in my current career - I had finally made the decision and worked to the point where I could trust that my choice was MY choice. I had to really work hard to get my self belief at a point where I believed in me and my own abilities to do the things I had talked about doing for so long. The choice I did make to change careers has not gone without some anxiety - as anyone who has set up a business (particularly without prior business start-up experience!) knows, I am quietly 'wetting my pants' some would say.
Recently, someone who is very important to me, argued ad become very aggressive in saying that the decision I had made to move away from teaching was 'stupid', 'dumb' and a 'very poor choice'. Given that this particular person had not known of my anxieties throughout the process of change, he came at me like a freight train and left me teary, embarrassed and questioning my own sense of belief and life direction. It's amazing how one person and one comment can completely change your mainframe and ability to trust yourself that you CAN do it so quickly.
After a few supportive conversations with close friends and family, a few days later I had someone managed to turn around those condescending and negative views into a full throttle 'let's do this' attitude. But hell - I had to work for it!! Over the past week, I have probably completed more work on the business than I had done over the last two months - and I thank that 'nay-sayer' for getting me there!

What I do know, is that without regular work on your own self belief, time to do things that you enjoy and know are things that free your mind to think and dream up your biggest goals, it is incredibly hard to beat those negative thoughts.
Just as we learn how to take a more pessimistic view on life and an automatic cautious response to anything that MAY put us in 'danger', we have to re-learn how to have self belief and how to look at negative moments as part of the journey or an opportunity to turn it into a positive.
It won't happen in one day, one week or sometimes even years - but it is so vital in our own sense of self, in our belief that we can do the things we thought were impossible (sure - some of these dreams may take a lot of time, commitment and compromise, but if thats what your dream of, what in the world is stopping you), in our ability to feel satisfied with our days.

If you're finding it hard - seek the help of close friends or family, go and chat with a coach/mentor/psychologist to get a few helpful tips to free that 'squashed' soul you may have developed over the years.
Self belief is so important. Self belief is the core of you being able to trust yourself, love yourself and know that you are doing exactly, being exactly and living exactly as you always hoped you would.

'Go get em!' Xx

How a giving and receiving a smile can teach you SO much!

After a tough Pilates session this morning(and yes, I was sore before I started, only to be greeted by my ever-so-lovely, but punishing instructor forcing her best - or worst exercises on us!)
 ....hobbling back to my car was an understatement!!), my brain was refreshed and ready to attack whatever the new day was going to throw my way. By 10am, my brain was well over-due for a large soy latte, and my body just wanted to crawl back into the warmth and comfort of my silk bed sheets.

As the hours passed, the brain over-load had truly taken hold of me - my eyes were becoming molded into a squinted position (giving me extra wrinkles in my fore-head I am sure!!!), my head had turned into a foggy mush and my emotions were turning from a bouncy and excited three year old to a tired and flattened parent after a kids party.

Walking around the supermarket, packing the next few day's supplies - I was stopped by a friendly, middle aged man and his son. He began to speak Spanish to me 'Hables Espanol?"(Do you speak Spanish?)- to which, amazingly and quietly proud I replied 'Pokito'(meaning Very small amount). I was brought back to my days of travelling through South and Central America! Although the extent of my Spanish these days does not go far beyond 'cerveza (beer), vinho (wine), moi bien (very good) and don esta el bano (where is the toilet?) - I had some well received response, and the man was so excited!! He tried to continue his conversation with me, with very little further 'Espanol' assistance from my 'foggy' brain, but was delighted to hear that i had been to his home country; Peru.
His body language, his willingness to introduce himself and his son, share their stories of their home country and begin a friendship in aisle five of the Ivanhoe Safeway store - made my day!

I walked home with a bouncy swagger in my step, after my friendly encounter and was given proof of the age old saying "A smile costs nothing, but gives much".

I took that smile and shared it with the 18 year old at the register - who went from a pursed lipped teenager to a 'customer service superstar'!

I then brought my smile to the street crossing, where I smiled and had a short conversation with the lady carrying the shopping bags full of groceries and her dog. 

Each person who received a smile and a friendly face, left with a 
warmth and obvious lifting of their heads.
      

Here are some great reasons to share in a smile right now....

1. Smiling is contagious

Because of complex brain activity that occurs when you see someone smiling, smiles are contagious. Studies report that just seeing one person smiling activates the area of your brain that controls your facial movement, which leads to a grin.

Even in bad situations, if you smile, others are likely to copy the expression.

2. Smiling lowers stress and anxiety

It’s not easy to keep smiling in stressful situations, but studies report that doing exactly that has health benefits. When recovering from a stressful situation, study participants who were smiling had lower heart rates than those with a neutral facial expression.

The next time you’re feeling stressed, just try smiling to calm yourself down.

3. Smiling releases endorphins

Smiling can help you manage stress and anxiety by releasing endorphins, chemicals that makes you happier. Endorphins are the same chemicals you get from working out or running, resulting in what is known as a runner’s high. Smile more to get that high without running.

4. You’ll be more attractive

Smiles are pretty darn attractive for more reasons than one. A smile suggests that you’re personable, easy going, and empathetic. In fact, a study in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that smiling actually makes you more attractive to those you smile at.

5. Smiling strengthens your immune system

Smiling even makes your immune system stronger by making your body produce white blood cells to help fight illnesses. One study found that hospitalized children who were visited by story-tellers and puppeteers who made them smile and laugh had higher white blood cell counts than those children who weren’t visited.

6. You’ll be more approachable

Turn that frown upside-down if you want to make some friends!

Studies have found that people are more willing to engage with others who are smiling. A smile is an inviting facial expression that tells people you are willing to talk and interact with them.

7. Smiling will make you more comfortable

Our natural tendency is to stick to things that are familiar, but smiling decreases this need. A study found that smiling can make you more comfortable in situations you would otherwise feel awkward in.

8. You’ll seem more trustworthy

If you want to improve your credibility, simply smile more. What could be easier than that?

Trusting doesn’t come easily to many, but smiling at someone may help. Participants in a University of Pittsburgh study rated people who smiled as more trustworthy than people with non-smiling facial expressions.

9. You’ll be a better leader

If you’re in a position of power, or want to be, smiling may be the key to your success. A group of researchers from The University of Montpellier discovered that smiling is a more effective leadership technique than having great management responsibilities.     http://inspiyr.com/9-benefits-of-smiling/

Smiling is an easy way to boost your mood, be healthier, feel better, and be viewed as more trustworthy and a better leader. Whenever you’re in a stressful situation or are feeling down, slap a grin on your face so you can take advantage of the many benefits smiling has to offer.

    

The challenge that turned my life upside down.....and lead me to empowerment, clarity and a new lease on life!!

Put your hands up if you're one of those people who lives for a challenge? Hmm...yeah...sometimes....maybe....as my insides area really pulling my thoughts towards"yes - if you drag me kicking and screaming out of the comforts of my home, the world I know, my routine, my normality, the things that I know I can already do, and if you hold my hand the entire way!".

The truth is - most people don't like to challenge themselves. Why is this? Challenging yourself is hard. It's called a challenge for a reason. If you want to rise to the challenge, take it on by 'the horns', then it is no easy feat. The thing is though - being able to challenge yourself is such an important and vital component of our own personal development in all walks of life.
Challenges are there for us to grow. Be it in our hearts, our thoughts, our career experiences, our fitness levels and or our social skills - we don't grow without pushing ourselves that little bit further when we feel we have hit a plateau.

This morning, I took myself out of my routine (and trust me, anyone who knows me knows that i am the biggest creature of habit in the world - my week is usually planned by the mornings and types of physical activities well as their pre-planned location, usually the exact same breakfast of oats, chia seeds, yogurt, berries and seed mix, my coffee is always the same and usually devoured late morning, my bed time usually falls around the same time, if I don't eat at certain ties of the day my inner grump 'Ash the Hangry' takes hold, I usually need to know in advance of social outings or my control-freak mind gets a little anxious.......you could say routine is my middle name....which I get it, makes me sound like an 80 year old woman!!))....'lived a little on the edge' and drove down to the beach after a sleep in (wow - I know, hold on to your hats did she say a sleep in beyond the usual 6.30am wake up and 'charge' time?!!) for a run along a NEW trail instead of my planned gym sash.

At the start of the run, I was a little bit wary. It certainly took some time to 'get into the groove' of the run.
The sand was soft, making each step feel like I was moving forward at the rate of a snail on a side-walk. I cursed - LOUDLY - and managed to scare a poor, unassuming woman who was walking towards me (all be-it, she popped around the corner like a burglar in hiding from the police!) - F#@ing sand, I can't f***n move anywhere...agh bloo** H#*l!!!! I was tempted to give up, particularly when the soft sand tuned into a long, slow up-hill ...which somehow made the sand fall from underneath my runners as if I were scampering around on quick sand! I kept going (except for the sneaky 5 step walk at the disheartening start of the bottom of the hill!! SHH!), until finally the sand started to get some traction and things started to look up! A couple of very invited down hills even started to appear!
Before long, I was at the half way point. It was hear that everything changed. I had reached the highest point of the run, run through the soft and was on my way back to the start.

What did happen when I reached this point, was as if my mind found a new lease in life. All of the negative thoughts became positive. All of the anxiety and worry about my future that I'd been having over the past couple of weeks (thinking about my new career change and I suppose creating 'acceptable answers' to respond to people when they queried my change for this year), and my mind became in a complete sense of flow.
It's amazing how closely the mind and body are linked together. It is something that yogi's have known for hundreds of years and something that many people are yet to find out - but let me tell you, when the body and mind are in alignment and working together in harmony to reach a common goal - it is majestic!

My thoughts turned creative, empowering and intense problem solver-like; I felt as if in the last 20 minutes I had been more productive than I had been in the last 2 months!
 I had been able to pre-write a blog in my mind, come up with some new aspects and projects to add into my business (as well as how to go about doing it), reason with my own mind as to why I was thinking the way I was and how to go about changing my concerns into helpful and experiential services for myself and others I come in contact with in my career plans, I know who I had to contact or communicate with to support my changes and I had even almost designed the look of the website and coaching programs I was going to create.

My body became a continuation of my mind and I no longer had to think about what i was doing - it was as if I was a black panther on the hunt for it's prey in a state of agility, power, strength and weightlessness. The hills were no longer painful but were stamping into my mind the notion that I could rise to my own challenges.
I remembered back to when I was a teenager. I was away on a trip to the beach with my best friend and the house they had rented for the summer was at the bottom of a 2 kilometre asphalt hill. It was one of the biggest hills I had ever seen. Each day, my friends Mum would say "I'm going to run up that hill one day". By the end of the three week trip, we were on our last night and my friend's Mum told all of us to throw on our shoes and 'let's go for a run'. Obviously, dragging a couple of teenage girls up a hill wasn't exactly what we had planned for the early evening (especially when Dawson's Creek was about to start in 15 minutes!), but we all laced up our shoes, put on our singlets and shorts and head out the front door - quietly wetting our pants and trying to 'rev ourselves up' at the same time. We started the climb....incredibly slowly, but surely we jogged at a pace probably slower than a walk. After 20 minutes, we were 20 meters from the top. All of a sudden, with a lot of encouragement to each other - WE MADE IT!!!!
This run symbolised a lot to my friends Mum. It wasn't long after the divorce with her husband (obviously taxing on any person, but with 4 children I could only imagine the intensity of the experience). I am sure that this hill became a symbol of her ability to be able to get through the difficult time. From that time - she had managed to return to study, get back into her career, find herself a beautiful new house, even began seeing another man.

The point is - by challenging yourself, you tell your mind that things are ok. Your mind is given the okay to believe that it can achieve the goals, dreams and wants your inner-most desires are after. It lets us know that even though life has plenty of hurdles, barriers, cross roads (and to some - incredibly ginormous mountain ranges!) and unknown paths - we have the ability to over-come them.

How can you get this notion to relate to your own life? Easy - and it is something that each and every one of us NEEDS to do on a regular basis to remind ourselves that things will be okay. Sometimes the challenge may only be small. Sometimes the challenge will become intensity difficult - but it is often these that become huge turning points in our lives and we are able to bound forward refreshed and energetic to get the the place we want or need to be in life.
The challenge can be in any part of your life - fitness (I preach this to everyone, as connecting the body and mind together are so powerful and reflect into many other aspects of our lives - it's the perfect starting point!), health, career, family, relationships or spirituality. It can be small (and usually by taking small steps, you set yourself up into the level of growing confidence needed to beat the highest of your challenges down the track) or large. It can be short term (Now) or long term (Weeks, Months or Years).

So when you find yourself in a state of nervousness, of feeling unfulfilled, dissatisfied, uncertain, anxious or just plain depressed - set yourself a goal. Take yourself out the door and have a good crack at knocking it in the face!! The changes are indescribable and until you try it for yourself, you won't quite understand the power of a challenge.

Believe me - it is life changing and it is one of the most valuable things you can do for yourself!

Xxx

New year....let's make this one the BEST yet! Here's how.....

So here we are – three days into the new year. It’s funny how such a build up happens when ONE day ticks over. True – champagnes, beers and of course ‘healthy fresh cold, pressed juices’ are drunk with friends in celebration, but as the clock strikes midnight it is as if we all expect a new person to take over our souls. The new year, new me theme spreads wide among many.

Please don’t get me wrong – there is absolutely merit in being able to take a moment or two to step back from the high speed freight train that has taken the form of your life over the year; filled with career driven tasks, tough gym sessions, social catch ups, bills and LIFE (and let me tell you – life is ridiculously exhausting sometimes!!).

What I feel like a I NEED to tell you is that tonight is not the only night, the be all and end all night and one chance you have over the course of the year to re-direct your thoughts, energies, priorities and goals into something new or ‘better’.

Taking time out over an almond milk chai latte, a super-juice, post-meditation, gym kettle-bell sesh or even just on your work lunch break (for some of us, as a means to inspire us and keep those positive thoughts coming to get us through the 9-5 job in which we are dragging our feet along to), is so important and we should be doing it on a quarterly, monthly or even weekly basis to ensure that we are living mindfully, purposefully and more importantly a life that we love.

So how do we do this you ask? It doesn’t need to be a gruelling and migraine forming experience, it simply has to be a short (maybe 20minutes depending on how much you want to put into it – in saying that, like anything – the more you put into it, the more you get out of it) moment in time where you sit away from distraction with a trusty pen and paper in hand (I’m a bit old – school and love to be able to turn the pages without having to open, close and find old documents – each to their own though!).

1)    Write down a list of the great things you experienced/achieved/made you happy over the past year (or if this is a monthly/weekly thing for you, use the time fraction that suits you). Try to come up with a list of 10 for yearly reflectors, 5 for monthly or 3 for weekly – if you get more, you are doing stupendously!!!

For each of these – write down WHY they occurred. Usually it links back to an action or thought on your part, but sometimes external factors – so THINK!

2)    Write down a list of things that you weren’t so wrapt about. (As human nature is, we tend to find it easier to think of the negatives – but don’t fear, that is what we are working on changing!).

Again – for each of these write down WHY you think these occurred.

3)    Write down 5 areas in your life that you feel are the BIGGEST areas (Mine were career, health, spirituality/mind, social connections and fitness….. but please, make these important and relevant to YOU.

For each of these areas, write down three priorities for you to achieve/complete/experience etc. this year (or month etc). For example, in my spirituality section I want to be more mindful, complete meditation or yoga for 20minutes each day and partake in a once weekly reflective journal to ‘release’ my negative thoughts and worries.

**Note – if you only have a few moments, stick with 5 general priorities for the year and you can put more detail in it another time, just get the ball rolling!

4)    With the above priorities in mind, think about 5 SPECIFIC (think – detail, measureable, achievable, realistic and timely) goals for the coming year (if you need to sneak in a couple more, go for it – just make sure that they are realistic).

**To double check the ‘realism’ of your goals, ask yourself – out of a scale of 1-10, how confident am I in being able to reach this goal in this period of time? (1 being not al all confident and 10 being super confident). If your number is below 7, then you need to adjust your goal. In my experience, setting high expectations and goals are great to give you an overall ‘vision’, but giving yourself smaller and achievable goals will mean you are a hell of a lot more likely to reach these and keep climbing the ‘goal building ladder’, rather than crawling in a ball in a mass of low self esteem.

5)    What things do you need to ‘let go of’ or not have so fore-fronted in your mind to be able to reach these goals? Often we hold onto or continue to behave, think, react in a certain way due to our past learnt experiences, being afraid of what will happen if we change our ways or lifestyle or simply because of routine. The old saying “you always get what you’ve always got, if you always do what you’ve always done” rings VERY true!! Do what you need to do, without fear.

Got it? Now – stick those goals in a place that you will see on a regular basis and refer to them over the course of the coming year. Don’t be afraid to re-adjust them if need me. Life happens – just falling short of one goal doesn’t mean your life is doomed, it happens to us all – re-adjust and get on with reaching it at another point in time or in smaller stages.

If you’re keen – why not create a vision board and post photos, words, magazine cut outs, mantras, anything to a large sheet of paper for you to be inspired, refreshed, recharged and focussed each time you glance at it.

Again, these are ideas and strategies to get you thinking. If you feel you need or want to pay particular attention (more or less) to any of these, please do.

Who needs new years resolutions when you can take time on your own to look at and celebrate the awesome year it was to build on it in your own way – to live the life that you are bouncing out of bed for!